Ugh. I'm in a state of denial I think

I'm feeling really fucked up right now. I mean, I just started at university, everything is new and weird, and there are so many attractive girls out there and I find them attractive while I don't even want to, I mean, why can't I just be straight? This week I looked at so many girls and I just want to bang my head against the wall to forget everything I thought of and felt and did :tears:
But my parents don't seem to notice anything and they think that I only want to move out because of the distance from house to the university, but IT'S NOT THAT! I don't want them to know anything of how I feel, but it's killing me. It consumes so much energy to pretend day and night that I'm okay and all My sister and I sleep in the same room, so I can't even out my feelings at night :eusa_doh: and believe me, it's awful.
And that's why I want to move out, I want more space and I want to be able to move freely without having to worry that maybe I look a bit sad, I just don't want my parents to notice anything.

I actually don't know what I want to say or ask or something, but I was hoping for some advice or something, I think.

 

Yes, I know, but, I mean, the difference is that I, as a girl, find other girls attractive. And that's something that I wasn't aware of 3 weeks ago. I'm still trying to digest that shock.

But it makes sense what you're saying. I'll try to remember that, thanks

---------- Post added 6th Sep 2013 at 11:47 PM ----------

Yes. Actually I already know what they will say: Oh it's okay honey, JUST DONT EVER COME HOME WITH A GIRLFRIEND, okay?

 

The thing is, I'm constantly worried about my parents finding out while I'm still living with them. If they do find out, they will make me promise that I won't come home with a girlfriend and it will be even harder to move out. My parents will get used to the idea of me being attracted by girls, but they never will get used to the idea of me having sex with or kissing a girl.

I actually came out two days ago to someone I don't even know for a week yet. I already trusted her and when she told me she was bisexual I couldn't hold it any longer and I just said it. To be honest, it was the luckiest thing that has happened in my entire life, I mean, how often does it happen that you go to the university and find a girl who's really supporting and nice and is attracted by girls too, and all that in three days :icon_bigg so yeah

That's long, 28 years So what happened when you actually found out you weren't straight? Was it hard to accept it then?
Yes, I have used that argument (better proximity to school), but they say 1 hour and a quarter of travelling time just isn't long enough, and on top of that I can travel for free, all students can. And they say I'm ungrateful for wanting to live on my own as soon as I can. And indeed, I feel like it would be a good step in accepting myself and being able to just be who I am, instead of having to pretend things.