Work crush

Hello! So I recently started a new job in a call centre office. I've always been attracted sexually to guys but nothing more if that makes sence? So I noticed this boy who I thought was quite cute but I never really thought anything much for a few weeks. After we had finished training and we went on to the call floor he just seemed to stand out to me and I didn't know why. After a few days I would look over at him but I started to notice that he would more often than not already be looking at me. So basically this has been kind of going on since then. As time has went on though I feel like my feelings are getting stronger and I don't know why. A few weird things have also happened since then also but now I don't know if it's all in my head because I want him to be feeling the same as me lol!

What started happening was that I felt as if I couldn't be round him because it was awkward so although it is a friendly environment and everyone got on it was like him and I would deliberately not talk. We wouldn't even really look each other but only when having the sneaky glances. One night I had to get moved over to his side of the room (yes I was a bit nervous lol!). He is one of the top members on the team so he didn't ever really take any time to come off his phone. When I got moved over to his side I was sat with my back to him so my anxiety was at bay for a while haha! When I was sitting making a call I noticed he walked past me to go to the toilet. And OMG the butterfly's I got....... Wow! Lol so when he was walking back I felt as if I could feel his eyes on me as he walked towards me so I looked up and sure enough he was and looked away. As he was walking past he had another quick look I think. What struck me about this though is that on this particular night he went to the toilet round about 4 times. He would walk past me really fast then I would then feel the eyes again (but is it all in my head?). So when he walked back the last time I decided I was gonna smile so I did. He just kind of smiled and looked up and away as if he didn't know what to do lol quite cute actually.

So ever since then it had been the usual kind of glances from over the room etc. So what I had been trying to do is sit over at that side again and to see if he would do it again. After he went for a break he would walk past me up towards the toilet so this would make me think is he wanting me to notice him? So one night last week I was sitting over at that side again and I couldn't see him. I gets up and walks up to the toilet. The toilet only has 2 cubicles in it and when I went in no one else was there. So while I was in there I heard the bathroom door opening, I didn't really think anything else of it so when I walked out I almost died! There he was washing his hands! I found this strange because he came in after me as well ! So when I walked out of the cubicle I reckon he must have seen how embarrassed i was but I swallowed it up and built up the courage to say hello! After that I didn't really get a word and and can't even remember what we spoke about because he just started talking so fast i didn't even really know what he was talking about haha. So after that I was happy knowing we had finally spoke. So the next night I came into work it was the same kind of scenario so when I went to the toilet again and he came in after me AGAIN that's what really made me wonder, is this a coincidence? I didn't mind though coz I was happy to be talking to him! So this time we where talking and then I decided to introduce my self when we walked out of the toilet. When I told him my name I put my hand out to shake his hand to be friendly and he literally looked at my hand as if OMG and went kind of red. Then he shook my hand and was saying about how his hands where still wet lol.

After that I thought I would take a step this time so I sent him an email to do with work but he only replied once so now I felt a bit rejected because I felt I really put my self out there haha! After all of this it went back to the glances and things. Almost Every time he looks up from his computer he will look over at me quickly. And yes I'm probably always looking lol! But now I don't know if it's all in my head or if he knows I'm looking and he is looking to see if I'm still looking? (if that makes sence) lol. So what happened next then is that his computer broke one night and he was doing training so he came up to where my group was and started helping everyone around me. So we got talking but mainly about him as it seems to have mostly been. I would try to get in things about me as well that I would hope would impress him haha so he would go away and come back again but spend time with a different member if the group so out of the 3 of us I was the only one that didn't get to spend time with him! I was gutted! Round about this time I told one of my work friends what had been happening with him (she doesn't know my feelings for him though) and she thought it was weird why he just came over to them. As if he wanted to be near me but not actually near me? So that was fine and then I had been waiting ever since for an opportunity to talk to him. Then tonight again I went to the toilet and he appeared! We got talking then he just randomly said to me he had a job interview and has another one tomorrow and I was just like oh well good luck. Now I'm scared incase he is going to leave which is now why I am writing this!

If I could sum it up I would say I feel like he wants me to notice him. He knows that I'm looking at him; it's kind of a given now that we will look at each other when in each others view. Im just confused because I don't know what to do like if I tell him how I feel or what? How I know if I'm just imagining things? What if he really isn't interested and I'm freekeing him out? There are so many questions I just want some advice that could help me handle this!

The best part is I don't even know if he is gay! And I'm not out either lol !

Thanks for reading if you made it to here! Lol

 

Hi guys thanks for replying!

James1991: I think I would rather work with all girls so that I would be able to focus better on my actually job and not some hottie! Haha lol and if you don't mind me asking what happened with the boy in school ?

Cakiforniacoast: I've never read any gay fiction lol so maybe you have a rough idea of what's going to happen and can fill me in ? Lol

Yes I know I should be thinking of ways now I can get more contact with him but I'm just scared basically. Scared mainly incase I'm getting it all wrong; I don't want to put my self out there at the risk of getting rejected or having "my cover blown" if you like lol. We've not really got to talking that much yet that I would feel a need to offer my phone number for example, if that makes any sence? So that's something I should start working on. So confused but I know I need to do something before I don't have the chance lol. We got our shifts changed this week so it's a bit more difficult being in at the same time now so I hope he's in tonight and I will keep you guys posted

Thanks again

 

yeah i appreciate your feedback no matter what and I do know that it could turn awkward because of the environment were in. so you say your curious; do you think there could be more to this? this is what confuses me because I can't really gauge whats going on. this I guess would be down to lack of experience. What I should have mentioned is that I've only ever experimented with a boy back in school and thats about it; so until now I've only ever had a 'lust' attraction towards guys if that makes sense? this is whats throwing me about him; i've always kind of thought that I liked girls more but wouldn't really develop feelings for a guy but now this is happened and I actually can not stop thinking about him and i'm just thinking basically WTF is going on? lmao

so now I cant decide if there is enough there to warrant me making any kind of advance but at the same time i'm paranoid incase I'm just imagining things.

Update on the situation as well; we where both in last night but didnt get to talk because of the seating arrangements. we would exchange eye contact every now and again. but now i feel like we're both trying to make a point that were looking at each other now? but we still don't seem to talk unless its in the toilet :S weird eh ?

Help me lol!

Thanks

 

Hi just an update for anyone interested!

Basically I got offered the same job in a different company for more money so I took it! I left work last week. Nothing else between me and this boy was really happening except from the stuff I have mentioned previously. So after fighting with myself for pretty much the whole of my last shift I emailed him my number!

I wanted to get the chance to speak to him to tell him I was leaving but we where standing with other work colleagues when one of them asked why I was leaving. I wanted to look at him to see his reaction (is that sick lol?) but didn't. That night he didn't really seem to look at me that much except this one time he did look over. Our eyes locked for a few seconds then he kind of jumped and looked away. I went to the toilet again and someone came in; I knew it was him but didn't want to hang around so when I sat back down I saw it was him and he looked over at me.

So as I said I emailed him my number. When I did he went over and sat with his friend for a few minutes. I thought this was weird because it was nearing the end of the shift so I can only assume he was away telling her I emailed (maybe just my paranoia lol). He came back round to my area and was joking around with another colleague. He just seemed to have this burst of energy from no where! When it got to the end of the shift I wanted to say goodbye to him but he just rushed away.

So now to the present day and I haven't heard from him. Feel a bit embarrassed now thinking back and paranoid incase I'm getting laughed at lol. Looking back I kind of think now though was there really any signs that he would feel the same? Maybe he was only looking at me because he was freeked out? Maybe it was a coincidence that he was in the toilet at the same time as me? Who knows lol. Some of the things he done would tie in with the typical shy guy signs but I was obviously wrong so I'm pretty gutted!

Thanks ! Anymore feedback would be welcomed also

 

I've not spoke to him since leaving work and I don't have his number! He friended me in Facebook but I haven't had the courage to message him or anything. Man I wish he would make a move lol not really sure how to play it from here...

 

Tango I think I know what you mean can u explain? . It wasn't really awkward when we spoke but one of my main concerns was that he probably picked up on the signals I was sending and maybe it freeked him out. As I've mentioned some of the things he would do would make me think yeah maybe he's interested and that's what made him stand out to me more. But no we don't really have any other connections now I've left so it would basically be down to one of us reaching out on Facebook or if he text me. Maybe I should let it go if he was interested I would have been sure by now?