Well, how do I put it? It's been well over a year now since my ex broke up with me, we're both in our little relationships and all that prior to it all, but the fact that he is still floating within the depths of my mind has been causing me to trip and fall every now and then. Knowing the fact that he still sees the "friend" label written on my head (which was probably the only thing he shouldn't have done), I can still feel myself either moving toward him or retreating back in the opposite direction. Usually when these feelings get too strong, I eventually break loose from him, but he only bounces back into me shortly after. I did manage to shake him off only once, but of course, he bounced back nine months later, and I thought that I could start everything over and try to attempt to have a friendship with this boy. And of course, everything either goes silent while a few very brief conversations are shared, just like it used to be after we both acknowledged the fact that things weren't working out. However, when I do talk to him about cutting the tie between us, he instantly becomes clingy and tells me to stay. This is followed up with a long conversation afterward, but he eventually goes back to leaving me in the corner beforehand. The first time he bounced back sometime in December, it was quickly accompanied with an argument that I sparked over the stupidest things my mind was coming up with. It ended with us cutting ties between each other for six months, until he bounced back a second time in the last few days of June. Maybe I'm still carrying the mindset that I can try and create a bond that won't end up being cut up into pieces, but I guess I'm still living in the past I suppose. Maybe he has already stepped up and moved on from it all. Egh, still trying to figure out how to move on from all of this as a whole... :bang:
I think every significant relationship leaves an imprint that will linger. As time moves on we tend to remember the good times, sometimes forgetting why it didn't work. It's ok in my opinion to enjoy the memories of the good times. I just try to not let it interrupt the possibility of a new and better relationship.
I guess you've got a point there. One thing that I've taken note of, is that the relationship my ex and I once shared was one of those "love hard" types that barely started off a a friendship. I can't really say that jumping the shark so fast like that with him is one of the reasons why I'm partially missing him every now and then.
