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How to get rid of a crush on a straight friend before I get hurt?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Spirit, Sep 13, 2013.

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  1. Spirit

    Spirit
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    I've known S for a while now, a year in a few months. When I started getting to know her, I thought "Well, she's pretty hot, I wonder if..." until I realized that she's straight. But at time's she's acted bisexual, and even admitted that she thought she was for a few months. S even borderline flirted with me a few times before I came out to her. (Then it stopped) But before and after I came out, she briefly snuggled me at sleepovers when it was just the two of us. A lot of people look at us like we're the steryotypical butch/femme lesbians, and part of me really wants someone to day 'you to are so cute!'. I keep finding myself thinking about how perfect it we would be together.

    I can recognize how stupid my little day dreams of us being together are, and at least this time, I knew her flaws before I realized I like her. Just about the same thing happened to me last year, and by the time my feeling went away, I really didn't want to be friends with that girl anymore. S can be a cynicle jerk some times, and S even said "Yeah, I'm kind of a bi:***:." But after everything settles back down, I start to think about how pretty she is, and how great she can be sometimes. :bang:

    If history does repeat itself, this won't end well for me. How do I stop this before it gets any worse?

    :help:
     
    #1 Spirit, Sep 13, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2013
  2. Gravity

    Gravity
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    To start with, daydreaming of her is not stupid. Unless there's something truly horrible about a person, it's never stupid to like them and feel like you want to be with them. :slight_smile:

    In this case - it sounds like you have an increasingly large pile of reasons to redirect your feelings elsewhere. She's stopped flirting and cuddling after you came out to her. She does have a couple flaws, which she recognizes herself.

    So, try to focus on those things - specifically her stopping the flirting and affectionate behavior - and remind yourself of them whenever you start to feel daydreamy. Literally stop yourself and tell yourself "nope, she's not attracted to women. I need to find someone else!" If you keep on top of yourself, sooner or later it will become second nature. And eventually you *will* find someone else.
     
    #2 Gravity, Sep 14, 2013
  3. Spirit

    Spirit
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    Thanks, she did actually spoon me after I came out, sorry if my wording was confusing. I've been trying to find someone else to focus my attentions on someone else, but I've been having trouble with that. Out of the three out lesbians in my grade, one moved away, one I'll only ever see as a friend, and the other I just don't like. :dry:
     
    #3 Spirit, Sep 14, 2013
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