Sister's Boyfriend

So it's about 11pm here in Seattle; my family just drove back from Port Angeles after attending a wedding about 2, maybe a 2 and a half hours' drive away. My parents and I drove together, and my older sister was the maid of honor and drove with her new beau whom nobody outside our immediate family had met before tonight.

I like him..well I want to like him..he really is a good guy, genuinely cares for my sister and all, but tonight after a few whiskeys he made a rather tasteless joke about getting a hotel room with my sister in front of me at our table during the reception; and this is my religious older sister whose very protective of her flower, mind you. She downplays it and becomes visibly uncomfortable, says "yes, you've had a few, I can drop you off at a hotel if you want a nap," and he REPEATS himself while I stare at him blankly, rightfully peeved: "No, not to nap. There's a hotel down the road, I'm just saying. There's a hotel if you wanna go." She downplays it again, forces a laugh and says alright only to turn her back to him, he gets up to get her a glass of wine, and I immediately and very sternly tell her, "That hotel joke. I am NOT okay with it." She says she understands, argues that he thought he was being funny---not realizing he was just being inappropriate---and then there's a few minutes of awkwardness as we eat when he comes back because I'm doing everything in my power to calm myself down; it would only upset my sister if I made a scene there at the table. The food sobered him up a bit and we went about the night in a lighter mood, gave him some grace because, since knowing him, that was the very first time he's ever acted that way, but it was still in the back of my mind the rest of the night.

Well, on the way home as I was driving I told my parents about it and they were not happy. Then the rest of the 2-hour drive I sat stewing about it. I am PISSED. There's a 5 and a half year gap between my sister and I, making me the baby of the family. We're really close and she's always looked out for me, but this was the first time I've ever had a 'brother moment' with her where I instinctively reacted with a "THAT'S MY SISTER" mentality. That joke was completely unwarranted, my sister has very limited dating experience, and with a wonderfully strong, but tactful personality she is very firm in her principals. She's been very vocal and open about their relationship to me and I know for a fact that they are not sexual this early on, which made the joke THAT much more unnecessarily crude.

UUUGH! I don't even know why I'm posting this because I already know which actions I'll take. I know my sister will talk to him about it because their line communication is very healthy, and me telling her "I am NOT okay with it" will make it all the more prudent to her that she does. And I know exactly what I will be saying to him if he ever speaks to her like that again---that talking about my sister disrespectfully will make it very hard for him to feel welcome in our family and WILL not ever be an issue again, so help him God. I guess why I'm even typing this is I just need outside validation, lol. He was rude and made her uncomfortable, which made me angry and surprisingly protective. I have a right to feel this way, don't I? I'm not just blowing things out of proportion?


P.S. I forgot to mention that now she isn't answering my calls >:[

 

As far as telling my parents, no, that in itself wasn't overboard. We're tight-knit, we keep few secrets from each other. And the conversation with them in the car was about him anyway, because my parents were telling me that they were feeling the same way about him that I was, that they want to like him but they feel like we're not seeing him for who he really is, then my mother shared a conversation she had with him where he said he that after serving in the marine core he had lost a lot of respect for women, which has to be the stupidest thing possible to say to the mother of your brand-spankin'-new girlfriend, and so I shared with them the joke that was in poor taste.

But after sleeping on it I'm not nearly as angry about it anymore. And yeah, I do feel like I overreacted, which is why I'm glad my sister never answered her phone because I would've made a bigger mess of it had we talked about it. I'm just going to drop it unless he talks to me about having sex with her again. I don't care who you are, common sense should tell you that a woman's brother doesn't want to hear about some guy sticking it to her.