1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Considering trying the other side of the fence

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by socalguitarguy, Sep 15, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. socalguitarguy

    socalguitarguy
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've been getting down lately about dating. When I first started dating guys I fell for the second guy I went out with. We had an amazing (for me) eight and a half month relationship before I was suddenly dumped. Since then I've probably gone out with 30+ guys. A couple I've had an interest in, but they've either turned out to be flakes or started dating someone else. Most of the others haven't done it for me. I guess my perceptions of how easy it is to find a great match were skewed by having success so early on.

    Since my sexuality is a bit more . . . ambiguous than the average person (I'm practically asexual, possibly demisexual), I feel like I have more "choice" in who I date then someone who is clearly straight or gay. Thus I've been thinking about the greener grass of the heterosexual dating pool. I admit a large part of this is that the pool is larger, so my chances of finding a good match might be greater. Also, since I'm not very sexually driven I often have a hard time justifying to myself why I am limiting myself to gay dating. I guess I still don't have a strong sexual identity.

    Has anyone here done that switch, going from same-sex dating to opposite-sex dating to give it a try? I have very little experience dating girls sadly enough, so I really don't know if a girl could potentially click with me or not.

    Is bisexuality or a history of dating guys a big turn off for many girls?
     
    #1 socalguitarguy, Sep 15, 2013
  2. Lovethemdudes

    Lovethemdudes Guest

    As long as you're not cheating on them with a guy (or a girl), your sexuality shouldn't matter to a girl you're dating. If it does, she ain't worth the time, honey. You sound like a nice enough person, and I'm sure you can find someone, girl or guy, that will make you happy.
     
    #2 Lovethemdudes, Sep 16, 2013
  3. Lexington

    Lexington
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Feel free to date or hook-up with women if you'd like. I'd just say not to lie about your sexuality or dating history if/when it comes up.

    Lex
     
    #3 Lexington, Sep 16, 2013
  4. LibraryKitten

    LibraryKitten
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2013
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I know you posted this a while ago, so I'm not sure if you still need advice about this, but I hope I can help some.

    Regardless of the label you put on your sexual identity, it can't help to just exclude someone from consideration solely because of their gender. My best advice would be to wait until you find someone who really clicks with you, regardless of their gender or sex, because that's really the only way you'll know for sure how your sexual and romantic identity is developing. So... I guess there really is no fence? It could be that one label fits you now, and another fits better later, but the important thing would be to try to pursue relationships that will satisfy you instead of only the ones you think ought to satisfy you. It might take you longer to figure this out than most people if your sex drive is naturally lower, but that's okay.

    And as far as past history dating multiple genders, that wouldn't bother me, and I can't see it bothering most of my friends unless they worried that you might cheat, but like others have said, as long as it's clear that you won't cheat, I don't see why it would be a problem. And whoever you end up with will be lucky, because you sound like a sweet guy! (=
     
    #4 LibraryKitten, Mar 4, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)