So my boyfriend has had a past of going to orgies and things like that. I only learned this once I was dating him so I thought he had changed. He has ditched me a lot for "obligations" he has said. Multiple times he has tweeted about having such a great time with people when he has told me he is going to sleep and what not. This week I found out that he intends to cheat on me this saturday. Im infuriated. I plan to find a way to be at the house before he is and just scare the shit out of him
I wouldn't even waste my time. I would just inform him that you know what festivities he was planning for the weekend and tell him that you don't want anything more to do with him. You're too young to waste your time with sleazy relationships. At the end of the day, going off and embarrassing people can make you feel satisfied in the moment, but its much more empowering to show others, and yourself, that your life isn't dependent on them and you can move on perfectly fine without them.
I understand the whole view of being better and all. I want revenge though. I'll be able to move on fine I just want him to realize how hard he has fallen
Gen's said it much better than I ever could. You could do what you're planning... but then what? This guy's not treating you the way you should be treated. He doesn't deserve to have a hold over you, and while it's perfectly fine to be upset, I'm not so sure planning revenge is such a good idea. It could escalate very quickly. Let him continue with his life and his choices. Maybe one day he'll realize on his own that he's been making mistakes. Of course, it is your decision...
While doing that would be amusing and provide a somewhat fulfilling revenge, I'm not sure that I would recommend it. Doing something like that would kind of show him that you thought he was worth the effort of you going there and confronting him. The opposite of liking someone isn't hating them, it's being indifferent to them. Both liking and hating a person requires you to focus and care about them in some fashion (even if it's wishing them ill). Personally, I would text him saying that you found out about what he was planning and telling him to feel free to go on with it. That he's not worth the time it would take you to actually talk about it. The best revenge, in my opinion, is showing the other person that they don't mean enough for their actions to even have the smallest effect on you and that your life won't miss a beat without them in it.
Well, fine. If you are going to show up on the weekend, then at least don't lose you mind over him. See him, tell him that if he just wanted to sleep around he could have been mature enough to tell you to your face instead of running around in secret, and walk out with your self-respect still intact. He isn't worth the time it would take to argue or go off on him. You don't always have to kill others with kindness, but kill them with contentment. He should know that you don't need to put up with this; he is unnecessary. There is anything to fight about because he isn't worth fighting for. Anger and resentment require too much of your clarity of thought.
I honestly wouldn't waste my breath. Any aggressive confrontation will most likely enable him to justify his cheating and his lying. He'll end up thinking he's in the right. I would text him while he's out screwing around and say: "I know what you've been doing. It's over. I'm disappointed that you had to sneak behind my back this way." Then I'd turn off my phone. Disconnect the net and chill with a few movies. Let him wallow with the military silence, lost in the void of no emotional reaction. If that's too peaceful for you. You could post something where you two share the same social circle. "I'm getting myself tested because --- has been cheating on me. I'm scared of the results. Who does this to someone?!" Etc.
It's not going to be this weekend, it will be in a month when he is sending you texts and playing mind games that your courage will be tested. Be the better man.
