Type of Guy

Hello I'm only just coming to terms with the fact I might be gay, I have a thread going already in relation to that. I am already considering this exact problem, I mean I don't even have a clue at all what "type" of guy I'd be interested in. It was only a couple of years ago I was deciding what type of *girl* I was interested in! So this is just making things even harder lol.

I guess you could check out local gay bars or use a dating site to look for specific types? Like I said I'm quite clueless myself but I guess I'll need to learn...

Edit: Felt I should add, I know the use of dating sites might seem kind of dodgy or off-putting for reasons such as it might be that people are only looking for "one thing" but from what I have heard there are lots of genuine people on at least some of them now.

 

Don't lose heart, the gay community is much smaller than the straight community -- keep moving and if you get lucky your dream man may show up.

And yeah, I understand. The only openly gay kid my age in school is obnoxious to a detestable point, so as the young people say, "I feel you."

 

Same here, no one I know is gay. And nearly no one knows that I am gay. I just came out to the boy that I have had a crush on for ages and told him how I felt for him...and got turned down. Maybe he isn't destined to accompany me throughout lifetime and I am willing to wait for my Mr. Right to come along. It would certainly be worth waiting.

 

TBH, I've never really 'looked' for a particular type of guy. I like hairy guys (LOTS), but never really went out of my way to try and find them. It just turned out that all but two of the guys I've been with were hairy. One guy was a boyfriend for about a year and was not only pretty smooth but also shaved his body. This didn't thrill me, but he's a sweetheart (we still exchange Xmas cards) and something of a bodybuilder so it also didn't really matter to me much

Beyond that, I've historically never really had a 'type' or looked for guys who fit a 'type'. If I click with a guy, I click with a guy and that's good enough for me. I also tended to take the approach of having sex first and if we had a good time and seemed to click, it usually turned into a dating situation or more than that.

Sometimes I wonder if the whole focus on 'types' and finding a 'type' is making things overly complicated. But that's just me.

Todd

 

Hmm, I think I didn't state myself clearly enough in the last post. I'm trying to say that although I might have a vague image of who I want to be with might look like, I don't really consider what 'type' I might like. This corresponds to-I guess-all people, gay, straight, bi alike. One could find tall guys hot but happen to have a crush on someone 4 inches shorter. You could have an appeal of a certain kind of people, but when you fall in love, you're 'type' means nearly nothing for love is blind.

 

Try what I tried. Go on a dating site, make a profile that is very honest, and talk about your interests. Talk about the kind of guys you're interested in, but focus more on your interests. People are always looking for something hey have in common to start a conversation about. Remember that many or most of the people on a given dating site are there for the same reasons, and they're in the same situations. I've met three guys on a dating site, all were kind and honest and very good to me, and one of them has been dating me for 8 months, and he's the perfect boyfriend for me.

You should talk to everyone, always be polite and friendly, remember names, and have long conversations. Talk about their interests, talk about coming out and what you've experienced so far. Even the old horny guys have stories to tell and they can at least be friendly. Respond frequently and message strangers who interest you.

Remember, everyone is awkward, everyone is nervous, everyone is convinced that it won't work, and most people are just hoping they'll get a nice message, even once, from somebody who shares even a few of their interests.

If, at some point, you feel you know somebody well enough, set up a date, somewhere public, that allows you to explore your interests together, and see how you hit it off (ie. my boyfriend and I spent our first date in a museum, and it was incredibly romantic if you know us.)