Uff...where to begin? So the past couple days I've been depressed...why? I don't know. I've just been in this glummy (is that a word?) mood. Sure I seemed fine...but I wasn't. So I found solace on my buddy Matt's ask.fm. It started a few days where I put up: "Sometimes I feel like killing myself..." He wanted to know who it was and I continued saying stuff and eventually gave him hints. After one time saying: "text me?" I responded: "Don't you think I've tried in the past? Everytime I try you fail to answer." I think that's what gave me away. He later said that he thought he knew who it was. Wednesday night I texted him about something and after saying I was stressed about school he confronted me saying: "are you the one on my ask?" After saying I was and him telling me he knew the whole time...he didn't judge me. Not once. He wanted to know why I felt the way I did, what had happened, every thing, he truly wanted to help. Around quarter of midnight I was starting to feel better and thanked him immensely, we talked until about 12:30 but we could've easily talked much more. The thing that bugs me? I flat out said to him that I hate when I can text someone but at school I'm like nonexistent and he agreed...but he doesn't talk to me at school! We can text all the time but not talk. Today was the first time I can remember all year...and that wasn't even talking really. He later answered a question on his Ask about how he much rathers talking over texting because it's more personal. I was pissed. I called him a hypocrite on his Ask and he admitted it. We have such a great friendship, I think he's a great guy despite what many of his 'friends' think, but it can be seen as impersonal. He knows everything about me. He knows my ins and outs, yet we never talk at school and I wish we did. He's also making friends with a guy he knows I have a crush on but that's besides the point. Do you guys have any advice on how I can fix this? I'm a Junior now and I want to be able end high school next year with my friendship with him, I don't want it to falter out like how many of my other friendships have.
I can, but it's the principle. I expressly told him that it bugs me when people will text me but not talk to me at school and he agreed that that was a stupid thing to do to someone. And the fact that he later said he much rathers talking over texting because it's more personal and what-not. But then he doesn't talk to me. We have one class together, English 1st period. He comes in and talks to the other guy at my table but not once has he even acknowledged me, which bugs me. I would think that someone who has all of the people he calls "friends" make fun of him, he would spread out his friendships.
I'll agree he's being a bit hypocritical. Although, for all his apparent social activity on social media, it's also possible he's shy or putting up a social front that makes it hard to actually talk even if he wants to. That said, I'm not sure it matters. Or, more accurately, only you can decide what matters most to you. You can stick to the principle you're currently sticking to and most likely nothing will change and you won't get the outcome you say you want. Or you can initiate a change in the dynamic and possibly get the outcome you want. Or to put it another way: if you only ever do what you've only ever done...how can you ever expect anything to change? Todd
