Lately ive been feeling very sad.. Hearing my family and friends bash gay people always brings me down. Im 20 and im not out at all.. I have a 2 friends that i always hang out with that always have bad thing to say to gay people like for example we would be driving somewhere and they would see 2 guys holding hands tthey would yell out fags or homo i would just sit there and say nothing idk i assume they know that im gay or maybe bi because they call me those same names i really one to tell one of them but im really scared because it might ruin our friendship. I also have a co worker that ive had a big crush on for a while but i know that hes not gay. :/ i know what everyone will say get over him and dont think about him but its hard.. Especially since hes the first crush on a guy that i had and hes the reason he made me think "shit im gay" :/ but he sometimes bashes gay guys too and i dont think ill come out to him.. And then theres my family which is a tradional mexican family really religious and dont ralk good about gay people they probably know but dont want to believe it i mean i dont really act like the steriotypes im just a regular person but they know i havent dated a girl since 8th grade and girls dont attract my attemtion my bro always tells me fag snd my father always says that thats wrong my parents want my future to be wonderful with a wife and kids but i cant give them that.. All this just really brings me down since i dont have someone to talk to about it so late at night when i get off of work i just take the long way home and just think what are the cons and what are the pros to coming out... Im not suicidal but i can honestly say im depressed.. These feelings suck i dont even know how to describe it having people that u care about and they probably wont accept you tearing up just writing this im just condused and want someone to hold I just needed to vent sorry if its a long post :tears::icon_redf:help:
First, everyone here on EC is willing to help. Welcome! Next, people tend to surprise you. I'm not saying that you should come out now. But when your ready, your real friends shall support you no matter what, and those who don't aren't TRUE friends anyway. But with the family that's something different. When you are still dependent on them, don't risk being disowned, but when you're independent, well, they have the right to know that they might not be get a daughter in law. Good luck!
Aloha, Barajas I think it might be helpful for you to find some gay friends. Living in SoCal, that shouldn't be too difficult. Gay friends would allow you to be open, honest and yourself. They would be people you could talk to. Really talk to. They would understand. I'd suggest you make this a priority. It will help put everything else in perspective. Good luck. Tell us how you are doing and whether we can help you with anything specific. With Aloha, Milan
Hola mi amigo, I agree, gay friends will help. Family might eventually surprise you too. Hell, even the Pope surprised me this week. Try to focus on the future and a day when you can get more accepting people in your life. It does get better. The tears will lessen. Hugs!
