Hello everyone, I'm a newbie on this site & I would like to tell you guys my story. Any advice & suggestions are welcomed! My story starts of more than a year and a half ago were I met my friend. When I first got introduced to him my eyes quickly saw an attraction for him. Him and I became really close friends, we hang out with each other at least twice a week... Now this is we're the story gets interesting. We used to text often to each other he will text me sexy, baby boy, papi, he once also text me "where have you been all my life" We also had one argument once via text and he text me saying "are we a couple?" I would text him back saying baby, love, and sexy. Fastworward; I came out to my friend as bi curious half a year ago and how he got me to confess was as follows: I had text him earlier with a flirtatious text to show him that I'm interested in him so he via text told me if I was gay which I denied cause I'm not really sure what I am since I never been with a guy before but anyways we went out at that same night and he usually brings up girls from either his fb or Instagram account and shows them to me and tells me if i would hit it etc, which I reply with a maybe or yes. But yesterday he got me somewhat pissed off, he told me that as a friend he is letting me know that some texts I send to him are somewhat over the top for him, basically he said stop with those flirty texts. So I was bummed. As we were walking out of the food place he was telling me if I would ever have a 3 some with him I said maybe and then he said better yet a foursome, 2guys & 2 girls, obviously I said sure. We hopped in the car & he started telling me what was up with me, why I act different than most of his guy friends, I said idk I'm different, I'm not desperate for sex like they and u are. Furthermore, he kept bringing up the are u gay question and I kept telling him I'm not, gay,never. He settled down with the whole gay subject but inside I was dying! On our drive back he kept asking me like "do u play sports?" Im not stupid, obviously he was trying to get any signs of me being "different". So when I dropped him off he was like "you know u can tell me anything, I'm your friend,and I will always be, I won't say anything!" As he was getting out I called him back inside the car and I told him the truth, I told him " I'm going to tell you something but promise me you won't tell anyone" he agreed and I proceeded on telling him the truth, "I'm bi-curious" I said, he replied with "you are?" "I said I think I am." His face was somewhat in awe, like I felt he wanted to hear that so bad, he wanted what he got basically, he wanted to know if I was or not so desperately. Why was he so desperate to know my sexual preference? Do you guys think he might be hiding something as well? (Even though he swears and claims he is straight) I have a crush on him, have not told him but he might suspect. What should I do? 6 months have passed and I still like him. When we hang out just us two he keeps talking about girls he f* or is gonna f*. He had a booty call the other day & told me about it, this made me upset but I didn't show any sentimental feelings towards it. This whole situation is driving me crazy, I wake and sleep thinking about him. He also has told me that I'm a 10 and he thinks he is a 10 based on looks. What do u guys think? I'm going nuts here :/
Well, I can tell you that I am/was in a similar situation. It really is difficult when it comes to these guys who swear they are as straight as an arrow but still show signs of probably being bi or gay even. If I were you, I'd continually observe how he acts around you. Now knowing that you're bi curious, any straight guy would lay off, but if he still continues to flirt with you, he's probably curious himself. Give it some time, and I assure you, if he is bi or gay, he'll start showing signs.
Hmm,...a little like what happened to me. I had a crush on one of my straight friends and the time I came out to him and was planning on telling him "God, I like you." He just said in a knowing tone "I know that you like me." Yes, the receiving end of a crush nearly always has a hunch of being liked. Tell him if you want to know and find out (mine didn't turn out as I hoped, but we remain great friends). People are usually flattered when they know that someone sees them so importantly...who knows? Hugs, and Good Luck!
I seriously thought I would have more replies by now but obviously not, thanks you two for giving me ur views. I appreciate deeply. So my friend just called me very late at night yesterday and I text him maybe like an hour after he called saying what's up? And he hasn't replied.. Why the f* does he call me all late when he knows I might be sleeping or doing something other than hanging out with him? Haha. Sometimes I feel that he knows I like him & even though I've told him numerous of times that he is my best friend he still hangs out with people I dislike or he hangs out with anyone else other than myself & he knows I'm also available to hang out. Is he using me?
I don't have much to add but just want to say I highly doubt he is using you. Friends aren't suppose to have to hate your enemies just cause you do.
Lol.. nothing new to me. Starting from the top, it can be easy to get lost in all of that flirting, the texting that straight guys do with one another. It's all fun and games if both parties know it's a joke. And then one day, I think these guys realize that they enjoy the attention they're receiving and it can freak them out a little bit. Happened to me recently. I let it happen because, why not? If a straight guy is going to show me his chest and tell me about his body, why the fuck not? lol. I made it a point to tell him I was gay when I could see it going that way, and it continued that way. So for me, that's when any guilt you may feel can subside. You've let the person know that there may be intentions. I've come out to friends a few times based solely on how we were interacting with each other. For him to want to know about you is genuine. Even when it feels like bait. If he cared enough to spend time with you, he already thinks you're gay and he wants you to tell him because you're friends. That's why he wants to know. Do I think your friend is gay? No. Do I think he's curious? -- I think it's impossible for a straight guy to have those talks with another guy and never visit the idea of actually hooking up with a guy. My friend Tim is straight and I came out to him because we played like that for a long time and while I didn't tell him I was into him, I didn't have to. They know. He was onto you. And to answer the question, it's possible you guys are going to hook up some day, it's just not going to be today. And when that day comes, you have to ask yourself if you want to lose your friendship. One thing the bi curious guys will do is heighten their..."Straightness" around you when they feel threatened. It doesn't mean it's malicious, it just means that they're a little scared and uneasy about how to come at you. It might be worth it to just let him know that he doesn't have to front with you and that you don't want to make him uncomfortable, in any way with you. You guys will be good friends if you keep the sex out of it or anything of the sort. If you go there, you guys will never recover from it. I don't know any gay friends that have hooked up with a guy and maintained the relationship with the person unless that person had bi curious tendencies. When I used to hook up with straight guys, it was never one time, but it was very one sided and very crushing to know that they're basically in denial about what you're doing with each other. :/ If you care about his friendship, be honest with him and let him know the things you're going through. I don't recommend telling him you're into him. He knows already. Keep the door open for him, but let him walk through it if/when he's ready to.
To the poster above I hear what you're saying, however there is a difference between straight flirting and not so straight flirting and it's usually easy to tell. Body language gives a lot away.
