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Coming out to a former straight crush?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Quazoid55, Sep 24, 2013.

  1. Quazoid55

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hey everyone, first post so here goes :grin:
    I guess I'm looking for some more opinions, ones that aren't my own or a support-lines but just some nice real people :slight_smile:. Plus you can give feedback and so can I and we can just talk this over if it comes to that.
    How many times have I recounted this story. Well, I met this guy about 10 months ago. He never said anything about sexual orientation but I guess he was straight, we were 13. But I just really liked him. Like allot. He was just so friendly and nice...
    But as the summer went on I kept trying to hold onto our friendship so that someday maybe something could emerge, even though he - or no one - knew I was gay. In December I decided to cut my ties with him - which was just threw a poke-war on Facebook and some chats - because I couldn't handle just being on a plateau with this guy as just friends even though he had no clue. But...over the months...I just kept thinking about this guy. He popped in and out of my thoughts. More crushed came and went but in the end I always found myself thinking of him even though I haven't seen him personally in forever. Like I said; so nice, friendly, funny, nerdy. Ugh.
    So just at the start of this summer I saw he got his braces off on Facebook and that sucked. He just came back to my thoughts again. And I just can't get him out of my mind! After 10 months :bang: ! I realize I'm just romanticising this average guy - he just likes some facebook statuses know like the acquaintances we are - but he's driving me crazy. Why him?.
    So here's what I've done. I've thought about it alot. I contacted this youthline for LGBT youth for advise and they said I had the right to do this, for my own comfort.
    I want to tell this guy how I felt. Send him a facebook message. Just end it all and get my closure - which is all I really want and need - and end it at that. I mean I barely see him so repercussions would be low. I'm thinking this may even be the first step in opening myself up more and coming out.
    So I've drafted a message (if you want to see it I'll post it in a reply). Sort of long. Just telling him how I felt. And that I realize its sudden and weird and awkward for the both of us. But most of all I just want him to realize the truth, and I just want closure. I want to know that he knows, because that will honestly end this.

    So, I guess, what do you guys think? Is this just a total no-no or should I maybe go for it. Do you guys have experiences like this? I mean I'm just looking for opinions; having people to talk to on this would be so nice :slight_smile:. Thanks a bunch.
     
  2. darth vader

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    Go for it! I did it last August to a friend I've been secretly in love with for seven years. It's a liberating experience, although you cannot go out of this situation unscathed. It will hurt you temporarily. But this is the best way to go if you want to follow the path to healing..
     
  3. GayTornado

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    First of all, welcome to EC!

    I know how you feel, I am (or was) in a similar situation.

    First of all: Are you out to anyone? If you aren't out to anyone, I wouldn't go for it. Period. How do you know that this guy isn't a complete Homophobe? How do you know that he won't tell just about everyone? Gossip travels around quickly, trust me. "Did you hear about Brittany kissing Brad? They are, like, totes an ugly couple" etc etc. Yes, you do have a right to tell him, and you shouldn't be criticized for the gender of who you do things in bed to, but unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. I would say come out to family and close friends first, then see what stage of life you are up to by then.

    If you don't mind me asking, I would also like to see that letter of yours, if you really want to go through with it.