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How do I tell her that we will never work?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by n8unicorn, Sep 25, 2013.

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  1. n8unicorn

    n8unicorn
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First of all - sorry if this goes to the wrong place.

    So, I've actually done the hard bit. My friends know, my family know and they're cool with it. (I am actually really lucky on that front, I spent years worrying about coming out to my Mum - so much so I apparently did it 5 times).

    I'm going out with this girl. She's my best friend, best friend but we got through awkward situations on that front. We've been together for 3 weeks, and this whole time I've been having my battle with myself, every time she says "I love you" I say it back, but something deep down feels like it's just stabbed me in the pit of my stomach.

    I've been here before, only a few times. Being with a girl and realizing it's not right. (Naive I know) but this time I really feel like because everybody is happy with me being gay (maybe not the odd person) but, I should feel the same too, but I know being with a girl is ruining this.

    I accept my way forward from this is first splitting up with her - and maybe my irresponsible decision to even have the relationship in the first place. Yesterday I just exploded (ironically, in front of somebody who's gay) and realized this is what I need to do, man up and just do it, but can anybody give me any pointers? She already knew I'd been interested in the other way before hand, but I lied to myself, and her saying I thought I was passed that.

    I'm just a confused kid, who wants some support.

    Believe it or not, I'm happy being gay, just not being with this girl when she's so happy.
     
    #1 n8unicorn, Sep 25, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi n8unicorn, welcome to EC!

    There's no easy way to break up, sorry. I wish there were.

    There's one sure thing about breaking up though: every day you don't do what is necessary makes it all the more difficult to finally do it.

    You're right, you won't feel right until you do it. Courage!
     
    #2 greatwhale, Sep 25, 2013
  3. darth vader

    darth vader
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    Welcome to EC. It's difficult but doing the right thing is never easy. The earlier you do it, the better for both of you. We need to practice living in our courage zone. Good luck bro. We support you!
     
    #3 darth vader, Sep 25, 2013
  4. prism

    prism
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    First, don't beat yourself up over it. There is a fine line between dating and being very close friends with a person. However, you should know that the longer you wait to tell her the truth, the harder it will be and the more hurt she will be. You don't deserve to be ostracized because your sexuality, but she doesn't deserve to be strung along. Convince yourself that a real best friend would let her go so she can find someone that truly wants to be with her.

    Hope this helped!
     
    #4 prism, Sep 26, 2013
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