1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I have a crush on my straight friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by elle97, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. elle97

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ok so I'm a sophomore in high school, and I have a crush on one of my friends who is straight. I'm not out to anyone, and I've never done anything with a girl, but I really like this one girl. Even though she is probably straight is there anything I can do to get her to like me? Or should I just move on?

    By the way, we aren't best friends but we're pretty close, and i see her everyday, so getting over her would be difficult.
     
  2. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You can't make her like you, but you can be closer, may be do some activity together, and see if she's possibly interested in you as more than a friend.
     
  3. Abbra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    I'm going to say that it's probably best for you and your friendship if you move on. It's really unhealthy and painful to hold out for someone who isn't going to ever see you in the same way. Accept your feelings and what they mean to you, and then try to let them go over time. Don't just hold them in, because that won't fix anything. You have to actually feel them, let them go, and heal.

    However, I will offer an alternate suggestion. If you think that it wouldn't ruin the friendship, and you are more comfortable, it could be an option to talk to her about it. I don't know your relationship with her, but at the end of the conversation you either end up with closure or a lover. But don't do this if you think that it's going to scar you in some way.
     
  4. kitkattz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, you could get closer, like resu said, and you can, once you two are close enough, tell her. Coming out sucks balls, but its a great, huge weight lifted from your shoulders when it's over. And, it's even more blissful if the person accepts it. Does she accept gays/bisexuals/Trans? If not, then she's most definitely not bi or lesbian, or its just an act- unlikely, mind you.. But you do need to be careful. I've so far only told my few best friends and my family- hell, that's not even fully true! My sis doesn't know yet! But, as I learned the hard way, it needs to be the right time. Don't do it because you feel pressured, come out when you trust her enough, and simply tell her how you feel. If your not ready to tell her how you feel, just come out when you think it's the right time. But, just understand, the 'right time' may be tomorrow, or in a year, or never- depending on the situation. Be very careful. Highschool is a terrible time to be ridiculed for a simple mistake.. Make sure she's a 'real' person- true to you, loyal, not obsessed with status -and don't let yourself slip until you know for sure!
    Highschool is rough, my friend- I know what you're going through, I'm going through the same thing, you see, but you have to keep a thumb on it so it won't slip out.. When you're ready, you'll know, and it'll be hard. The first few coming-outs are the hardest. No, scratch that! PARENTS! Coming out to parents is the hardest thing on earth! Here- imagine telling your parents you're pregnant, then add 10x the stress. Yep. Not to scare you, but it sucks, and to be able to do it, you gotta look them in the eyes and just flat out say those four words! 'Dad/mom, I'm a Bisexual!' Look at them straight on, and don't have any waver. Trust me, I know from experience that they won't believe you if you waver. It sucks to have to explain it when they're all, 'no, it's just a phase, I'm sure you'll grow out of it!' So..
    ..yeah..
    That's it I think. Coming out is hard and... Wait, I completely got off track... Whoops..
    :slight_smile: just be careful.. If you have an LGBT support group, it would help. I'm in one at my highschool at the moment..

    ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2013 at 08:31 PM ----------

    Oh, and to add to my already too long response...
    I'm in the same position with a girl in my mandarin class. Good luck, dude.
     
  5. Chic30

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2013
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Huntsville
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    You know what, I'd say move on. A few years ago I had a crush on a straight girl, I thought she was gay I guess she was just a tom boy, but she continued to flirt with this guy that she liked, and I was so upset. But, even though you won't lose anything by having a crush on her you won't gain anything either. Once you see them talking or flirting with someone else than it will kinda hurt, so I'd say move on, you might even find someone better.
     
  6. dfny

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York, NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    This is definitely the most frustrating thing about being gay or bisexual--when you end up really liking someone who's straight.

    My advice, based on experience, would be to just try to put it out of your mind and move on.

    I ended up hooking up a few times with my best friend, who's straight, after wanting it for like 2 years, and the hook ups were amazing. I mean it was really hot, and we had great sexual chemistry, but it still didn't change the fact that he was straight and still only interested in women, and it totally fucked up our friendship. I like always had this overwhelming desire to hook up with him, and once the novelty wore off for him, the feeling wasn't reciprocated. And things just got really awkward, and we stopped hanging out. It sucked, especially since we had the same social cirlce, so we were like always bumping into each other, even though he didn't really want to see me, so it was just really awkward.

    Anyway, the bottom line is, yea, the situation sucks, but deceiving yourself into thinking that your straight friend will want any kind of sexual/romantic attachment will only create problems.
     
  7. Chic30

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2013
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Huntsville
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    He's obviously gay/bi if you guys are hooking up. He's not straight like he says he is.

    Also, stop bragging geez :roflmao:
     
    #7 Chic30, Sep 26, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2013