I really like this guy that I've been hanging out, and he really likes me. We have talked to each other and he said that he would be open to a relationship in the future, but he has three dating phases he goes through - I'm not going to mention them here. The last few weekends we have made plans and he has unexpectedly canceled on me both Fridays --- apparently it was important. I guess he has a lot of "inner turmoil" from previous relationships and apparently just got over this other guy about a month ago. I really want a relationship and I know that we both really like each other, but he is starting to make me upset with his cancelations. Should I tell him how I feel, or should I just suck it up and keep trying to make plans? Any other advice?
If you think enough is enough, then tell him. I have never been in a romantic relationship, but I personally am big on fulfilling obligations, and it seems something as important and low risk like hanging out on Friday should not be hard to do. Probably the most tactful way is to just make a new plan and keep asking him if he is really sure he will make it.
Update: He didn't come home until later the next day and we hung out with other friends. He has something going on with himself, like an internal conflict. He isn't over his last boyfriend and he isn't the same person I met originally. I've made a commitment to leave him alone for a few days and see what happens from there.
Good choice sir. Give him some space and if and when he makes an effort in your direction, take it as a good sign. He can't be entirely reliant on you to make something happen between you. You've made yourself available and expressed plenty of interest, regardless of what happened to him he needs to show you some of that back if he can imagine being with you.
Heard from a few friends that he is supposed to talk to me sometime soon.. Hopefully it all goes well and straightens itself out. My whole friend triangle is messed up right now and we're all working to put it back together.
wow. you obviously already know what to do. good decision. just my advice, if he is still experiencing that kind of 'turmoil', then leave him. but do this unless you're really sure he is.
Update for the last time I think: Talked to him last night because he was at an event I was at. He seemed fine and asked me if I was doing okay. I told him that I was okay and I think that our "triangle" has been repaired. I'm not sure if he still wants a relationship, but for now I'm content with just spending time with him. I'm not going to push any romantic stuff because apparently I'm too forward with it when our friends are together.
