When you get married you don't die and your still going to be attracted to other people but in a monogamous marriage you don't act on it but how do you deal? I have been with the same man for about four years now and we just got married this past summer and everything has been going great. He is very loving and affectionate, he takes good care of me and works really hard to better the life of our family as in the next few years we want to start trying to have kids. But it gets a little tricky, I have dated women, slept with women ect. and occassionally I miss it. Sometimes I just want to be with a girl and not a guy on a purely physical level, now I am not saying I would ever cheat on my husband but sometimes its frustrating. Not to mention I have a lot of sex dreams and their either of him and I, or of me with some random woman. Infact the week or so before our wedding I kept having dreams of us standing at the alter and everytime I would look at my groom he would change from a man to a woman but I still recognized him as being that person not a specific gender. pfft....advice? Thoughts? Commentary?
See, the thing is (I'm bi so I kinda know how/what you feel.) that when you get into a relationship, especially if it's as serious as a marriage, it doesn't matter weather you're straight, gay or bi. You choose that individual and give them you're love and affection. It's like you're no longer anythingsexual. Your affection belongs to your husband. Obviously that's not gonna stop the dreams and stuff but yeah. If I was dating a boy then I'd just have eyes for him. I wouldn't look at any other girls or guys. The same thing with a girl. Getting married is a really big decision when you're bi isn't it?
It is normal to feel as if you are missing out when you get married. Most all married people have attractions to others, occasionally,no matter if you are gay or straight. There is nothing wrong with desiring others, or having fantasies about them, it is how you act on this. You need to take your sexual tension out on your choosen mate. After all, you love him and to be honest, sex with a man you love is not different than sex with a woman you love, it's just the parts that are different. You could also always ask if he is open to a threesome with a woman. Many couples do this occasionally.
We've had threesomes, and they're always fun but just not as frequent. He does know about my sexuality and he is completely fine with it. Him and I have discussed the idea of being open and while we were dating we kept it open but now that were married I am not interested in pursing anyone sexually without the active involvement of my spouse.
Great. Now if you approached him with the idea of occasionally involving a third person, sexually, how do you think he'd react?
Like I said we've had threesomes and foursomes with like close friends, I don't know how he would feel if I went and like found a stranger that I was legit attracted to. I don't know how I would feel about that either...
Alright. Well a closed mouth don't get fed. Go talk to him and see what he says. If you guys have a history, he may be open to it. Good luck.
