Long story short, I believe that my friend is in the closet. I am gay and he shows many signs that lead me to believe he is gay. We are best friends. Last night, slept in the same bed, this is not strange for us. At this point, I'm laying there trying to sleep and.... he wraps his arms around my bicep. Then he puts his hand in mine and puts in on my stomach and puts his other hand on my chest. I roll onto my side and we spoon. He has his arms around me and slips the tip of his fingers into the top of my underwear. He taps my side (I assume to see if I'm awake) and then slowly removes himself. He has never made a move like this before. I have asked him if he is gay before and he denies it. After an episode like this, I'm not sure that he can anymore. I'm literally laying in bed waiting for him to wake up. How do I confront this? What do I even say? Thank you...
Are you out to him? If not, that might be something to consider if you feel ready to do so. If you are out to him, then maybe just gently bring up what happened without treating it as a foregone conclusion that he's not straight. Maybe just ask about the act itself without adding in anything about implications. If he doesn't come out to you don't try to force him or make a big deal out of it. Maybe just say something along the lines that he's your best friend and nothing will ever change that and such. If he does come out to you, be supportive and be his friend. Not sure if you're indicating you have any interest in being more than a friend, but unless he were to bring it up as part of coming out, I wouldn't jump to that topic right away. My 2c worth, Todd
Like what the above said, after all that has happened, you should come out to him. I believe he will come out to you. He is either gay or bi. He could even be bi curious but if he continues doing things like this then he must be gay/bi. But yeah, he could've just tried to experiment. Idk ;o
I agree, definitely seems that he has some kind of same-sex attractions that he is feeling out with you, and it might be something the two of you should talk about. I mean, if you like him [do you like him? What're your thoughts about all of this?] and he certainly seems to like you then why not give it a shot? If nothing else, it will be for the best for your friendships to just get these feelings out and on the table so that you can talk about them and be adults about it rather than just letting things fester unsaid.
I'm assuming he knows YOU're gay - your post doesn't quite make that clear. Assuming he does, you have two options. Option one - talk to him. If you want something to happen, if this occurs again, you can simply nudge it along. "If you'd like to keep going, you can." That's really all it takes. If you DON'T want something to happen, you can simply say "if you don't want me to think you're gay, you probably should stop right there". Since it's already happened, feel free to say something. Again, it'll depend on whether you want something to happen or not. If you do, you could say "I'm kind of disappointed with where you left off last night - I was hoping you'd go a bit further." If you don't, you can say "I know I've asked you before if you're gay, but last night, you sure were making some gay-like moves on me." Option two - again, if you want something to happen. Just nudge it forward. If he puts your hand in your underwear, reach over and pull it down. Or, since it's now over, you can simply put the moves on him. This is more likely to result in something happening, but more likely to result in messing up the friendship. Lex
I think he may be nervous. Probably his first MM he dreams about. And I assume he trusts you. Be gentle in talking to him.
The very fact that it's normal for you two to sleep in the bed says a lot about how close you guys are I agree with what was said above. If you're interested in him, you should definitely bring it up or nudge it along. If not, at least ask him about it so you can be supportive of him. Tell him that nothing will change the friendship etc. and that you care about him and are there to support him
