Ugh, that straight crush T_T (Venting)

Like it says in the title of this thread, I'm simply venting about my friend/straight crush.

So I started university not knowing anyone (save for a few people from my old high school, but I don't talk to them), so like everyone I was nervous and feeling lonely on that first day. Towards noon, we had to have an academic lecture about work quality and expectations from the professors. Once I entered the building, I picked a seat in the second row, alone as people started to pile in. Eventually, this one guy sat next to me and I couldn't help but notice how good looking he was (nice brown hair, beautiful bright green eyes, tall, etc). We didn't speak at all, but I saw him look over at me a couple of times from the corner of my eye.

A few days later, I was eating lunch with a couple of friends I had made, and he came over and sat down with us and introduced himself (lets call him Zack). We all introduced ourselves and he looked at me and said he remembered sitting next to me in the lecture, and we then began talking just about anything. I soon realized after an hour long conversation about stuff that he was really kind and great to talk too. I knew I was developing a crush, but didn't do anything about it.

After that, we sat together every time we had some kind of lecture or something for Freshman week (or whatever you want to call it), and he would always light up whenever he saw me and start talking right away and asking about me. At one point, there was a two day period where we didn't see each other at all, and then once I did walk by, he got so happy he actually pulled me aside and said how much he missed me. Once again, we got talking about our interests, and when we finally had to part ways he gave me a "bro hug" which was more or less just a hug. At this point I started to suspect he may be gay/bi.

A week or two later we happened to be at the gym at the same time, and we worked out next to each other for part of the time we were there. At one point when I was lifting weights, I turned around and saw him just sitting there, staring at me and smiling softly like he was observing me or something. Oh god, the butterflies in my stomach made a whirlwind :redface: . I smiled at him and he smiled back, not braking the eye contact. He afterwards said when we were leaving that one day he wanted to show me a place in a nearby park that he thought was "relaxing and romantic" (but we still haven't gone). That really got me thinking that maybe he wasn't just gay/bi, that he could possibly be into me! :eek:

After that, he would do various things like sit next to me in class all the time (and if he didn't he would make sure to catch up with me in the hallway to my next class and make it his mission to see me), always get touchy feely with me whenever he could, and if I was ever slightly cold he'd drape me in his jacket (he's done this many times even though I say it's fine). Sometimes when I'm not able to hang out with him, I apologize the next day and he says "It's fine, the worst part wasn't seeing your face!". On top of that, we live right next to each other (though that was purely by coincidence).

So, long story short, I fell for him. Hard. Thinking he was into me, this actually added to my courage of other things that gave me strength to come out to my mom. The next morning I was going to say how stressed I was coming out to my mom to him as a hint that I like him, but ended up chickening out.

Finally, we were having breakfast one morning and the subject of LGBT came up. When he asked how I felt about it, I said that I fully support them because people are people. When I asked him, he said "I have a couple of gay friends...like, I don't discriminate at all against them, but I don't feel comfortable with them practicing homosexuality."

WHAT.

Not to mention I found out he also has a girlfriend who he's madly in love with and skypes or calls at least once a day. I was so annoyed with myself I just focused on my work with no socializing for like 4 days straight.

I've cooled down now, and I'm glad to have him as a friend, but seriously, he was giving me hints and leading me on, and that's what pissed me off T_T

So, I'm done my rant (God that feels good to get out). Anyone else have experiences a lot like this? I bet you do.