I'm sick of people judging me for who I am. People I don't even know wil say things in the street. The other day, I was hugging my friend (a guy) and this kid walking past yells "Faggots!״ so I responded by hurling an excessive amount of verbal abuse at him, which made him turn and sprint, the coward. But worst comes from Christians. They hate me. I go to a Christian school and the people who have guessed from my behaviour or from hearing it from friends with loose lips, treat me differently. I just pretend to ignore people making fun of me but inside i feel it. It doesn't help that the other people in my class tease me because of my interest with creepypastas, slenderman in particular, my taste in music, thrash metal, screamo, and that I don't play sport, and instead, spend my time playing video games. There is only one person that I can talk to about these problems (not the gay problems), and that's the school guidance counsellor. She doesn't offer much help though, apart from advice on my sleeping problems and psychological issues.' I'm just absolutely sick of being persecuted for no reason and I wish I could stop it.:bang:
I'm sorry bud, that's awful. I told a str8 friend once "Why would i choose this? Half the people out there who don't even know me hate me." Well, that's a bit of exaggeration. You're clearly going thru a rough time, but know that there are people out there who will accept you without judgment, and someday you'll get to surround yourself with them. Ignoring the haters will be a cinch then. Since it seems you've already got a gay label at school, maybe it will help to privately try and talk it out with some of them who give you a hard time. They're young and ignorant. They've possibly never met anyone gay. If it doesn't work, you did what you could. You can always come here to vent. Stay strong (*hug*)
It has gotten easier overall for me as I have gotten older. Acceptance doesn't matter as much and hearing the occasional idiot utter 'faggot, dur hur hur' still makes me angry but not fighting angry like when I was younger. I now realize that they were raised different, hung with a closed minded crowd or they are just plain hateful. Can't stop hateful in some people no matter how much you want to. When I was your age I really didn't care about sexuality at all. Truth, lol. I lived to skateboard. I did it all the time and lived the lifestyle 24/7. The hairstyles of the time, the music, the fashion and of course the skating. My few friends and I were teased nonstop for it. A normal day out skating in our small town consisted of hearing the phrase 'skateboard faggots!' or 'skateboard pussies!' at least half a dozen times. We all know what it feels like to be targets by people who are just bored or hateful. If they aren't a real physical threat then you will become stronger each time you shrug off their hate. I wish I knew life would get easier and more relaxed when I was younger. I would not have taken all that they dished out as life everlasting. It has proven not to be. Please stay strong.
I feel for your situation. I know it hurts...deeply. My advice: keep looking for support, it's out there. I found it in a gay friendly therapist, a LGBT affirming Christian pastor (she rocks) a slew of gay friends, a gay rugby team (who knew?) etc. Point is if you look long and hard enough past the hate, the support is there. Hang in there little bro!
