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Lesbian Date to Homecoming

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Violet Iris, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. Violet Iris

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just a few months ago, I had my junior prom and I decided to ask a girl to go with me. I made her a card that played into the thing she fangirls about (Doctor Who) and somehow managed to get the courage to actually get it to her, and she said yes. We got each other corsages, and we went.

    The thing is . . . I told my dad that I'm not gay. I just got scared when I told him that I had a date to prom who happened to be female, and . . . those words slipped out. I automatically went into defense mode, and . . . Oops. Oh dear.

    I'm the president of the gay-straight alliance, and my dad knows this. While he rarely says things against gays except for when he's drunk or on the telephone with his "buddies," and even talks about how gay people should be allowed to marry when it comes up on television . . . I always get the feeling that he's being disingenuous. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of coming out to him, though I told my mom. (My mother is now out of the picture, so she couldn't help here.)

    Homecoming is coming up, and I'd really like to go because I'm a senior and I've never gone before. And I'd like to take a date. A girl.

    I'm scared that if I take a female date to this type of function again, my dad will figure it out or at least question it, and . . . I don't think I'm ready to come out to him. Because even though he hasn't said horrible things to my face, I've heard him say many derogatory things about gay people in the past. Even the things he's said that aren't derogatory tend to be very stereotypical and ring of ignorance. And he is bigoted concerning people of different races and Muslims.

    What should I do?

    Thank you for any assistance you can provide.
     
    #1 Violet Iris, Oct 1, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2013
  2. GirlWhoWaited

    Full Member

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    Can you go with a date and a large group? That might avert suspicion. Also, when you do feel ready to tell him, it is okay to tell him that you were just scared, and that that's the reason you said you weren't gay in the first place. It sounds like your dad might not be totally against it. If all else fails, there's always the "at least you don't have to worry about me getting pregnant" argument. I have a friend who used that one. :wink:
     
  3. Violet Iris

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I suppose that could work! The nice thing about being the president of the gay-straight alliance is having allied friends. I'll have to see if any of them are going in a group.

    And thanks for the suggestions! And I think that could definitely add some humour to an awkward conversation.