Hey y'all! I've got a bit of a dilemma and no one to help me with it. Ok, so I was dating a bisexual girl (who also became my best friend) for basically the first half of this year. She ended it because things got complicated between her and her homophobic mom/family, plus she was confused about her sexuality. I was upset that she strung me along for many months and my heart was absolutely shattered. She didn't hide the fact that she had started sleeping with/seeing other people quite soon after calling it off with me, whereas I hadn't really moved on at all. In fact, I was still sleeping with her occasionally. Pathetic, right? So after several weeks, I told her that I needed space and cut out contact with her for a month. When I finally messaged her she said that she had been an absolute wreck but has started seeing a guy who she says makes her happy. She has said that her wound is still raw and that I'm still all that she thinks about, though. We haven't seen each other in over two months now. Here's my problem. She recently told me that she had a sexual dream about me, and added that the only way she can reach climax is by thinking about me. Then, the other night, she randomly messaged me saying that she wishes she could still f*** me, but she doesn't want to get involved with me again. So basically she asked for no-strings-attached sex from me after all this time - despite the fact that she's now seeing a guy. I told her that it wasn't a possibility, and she said 'worth a shot haha'. About an hour later she said she felt bad and that her request sounded horrible and said sorry. I agreed that it wasn't appropriate and ended the conversation. We haven't spoken since, although several hours ago she sent me a lame joke, but I haven't replied. Am I right to be feeling upset with her? How should I handle things from here? She wanted to go out for drinks with me in a couple of days but now I think I'll pass because it was probably just an attempt to have sex with me. Please help?
You two broke up and that pretty much always causes pain. However, just because she is questioning her sexuality, it doesn't mean that she didn't/doesn't love you any less. What I mean is that I don't think she was 'stringing you along' for many months - her feelings for you may well have been genuine. Perhaps something in her mind changed or she just couldn't stand what her family was saying to her any more? From the sounds of things, this girl is very confused and doesn't know how to handle her situation. She probably still feels guilty for asking for sex and might want to make it up to you (that's my perspective of what she may be thinking, anyway). The lame joke, to me, implies that. As for going out for drinks with her, do whatever you want to. She might just genuinely want to see you again because she hasn't completely got over you yet or she wants to apologise properly. If you want to go, then go ahead. If you don't want to, then don't feel like you have to. How you react is all up to you
Your heart got broken. You're probably still not completely over that. That's okay, but going right back into a place where you're close to her, tempted to sleep with her, hoping she'll return your feelings to the degree you want..etc. That's not a healthy situation and you knew that when you told her you needed your space. So, in the end it's up to you to decide if you're okay with that contact, but keep in mind that your mental health and well-being come first, regardless of why she feels the need to keep you in her life.
