Sorry I messed up the title and I don't know how to change it. EDIT: IS MY FRIEND GAY? Um, hey. I'm confused with my sexuality at the moment but I'm leaning towards being gay because I know for a fact I'm attracted to guys. So I'll begin... I like this guy, we can just call him "J". We are really good friends, and have been for 5-6 years. People at school can kind of tell im into guys already because I never date girls. But anyway, "J" has only dated 3 girls at our school. When ever he goes out with a girl he seems unhappy and talks to me. When ever I'm not paying attention he stares at me then when I look over he acts like he wasn't staring even though I saw him from the corner of my eye. When ever I talk to him he looks deep into my eyes and gives me this feeling in my chest. I can't tell if he's into me. I can never get past him without him greeting me, and he always smiles at me even when he's super depressed. One time in 6th grade (even though im in 10th grade now) we kind of found ourselves holding hands walking down the hallway then we both noticed we were doing it and we stopped. I can't shake the feel that he's into me. He gives off a vibe, and also... Most of my friends are girls. I don't really fit in with all the homophobes at my school. But "J" is not homophobic at all. He actually hangs out with all girls, and sometimes I catch his (guy) friends calling him gay sometimes and it pissed me off. But when ever he's with me he's super happy and tries to get close to me. Sometimes he even comes up to me and has something to say then says never mind and leaves. I don't know, I need answers.... I don't know if its possible but I feel like..I love him. but ugh it hurts because if he's straight I don't want to scare him off and ruin what we have. :bang:
Re: I my friend gay? ...just go for it. im in a similar situation, and its the hardest to tell yourself to do this so im telling you go for it make mistakes if you're wrong, but whatever just do it. i mean, your friend isnt homophobic so he shouldn't be (too) freaked out, but just go for it. edit: by go for it i mean ask him out or hint or whatever
Re: I my friend gay? The first thing that I would do is to come out to him, give him some space and time to take it in, and see what his reaction is. if I had this dilemma I would look for a couple of things: 1. If he were instantly ok with it ( which he might be if you guys are close) and kind of changes his actions while he is around you, then he is ok wtih it but trying not give you the wrong impression. 2. If he doesn't change his actions towards you and keeps staring at you like he is doing, then that might mean he is into you. BUT before you make any type of move on him(if that was your intention), have a talk with him so you don't put any unwanted tension between the two of you. Take advise when it is given but don't make it a set thing, in the end do what you feel is the right thing.
Re: I my friend gay? You're so lucky to have somebody that close to you... he seems interested... and he'll probably take it well if you talk to him
Re: I my friend gay? Even though he's not homophobic I'm scared. What have I just break our friendship or something. Or what if I tell him I like him and he say's he's okay with it but he's straight. We won't have what he had before, I fear for our friendship. I know this guy named Shane who is gay that came out to me in middle school but doesn't remember he did it an now that we talk again and I asked him he said "what? are you kidding me!?" and he wont talk to me anymore. He gets awkward and avoids me like I'm going to out him or something.
Re: I my friend gay? I have exactly one piece of advice for you: Use your words! If you don't talk to him, you'll never know. So give it a shot!
Re: I my friend gay? Why torture yourself in an emotional turmoil? JUST GO FOR IT. Your friendship should be strong enough to prevail the impact. And he does seem into you, or at least has mutual attraction to some content. Just find out or you will never know. I've just been through it and our friendship became firmer than ever. Hugs, and Good Luck!
Re: I my friend gay? If it helps, I very recently told my best friend that I was in love with her. Although she didn't feel the same way, she was totally cool with it! It didn't change anything about our friendship. I'm not sure if it's the same with guys, but I'd say take a chance and go for it Best of luck!
Re: I my friend gay? I'm sorry if you guys hate me for this but I still haven't talked to him about. It like I'm scared, whenever I approach him about it I instantly stop because I get this feeling in my chest, and there is like...something holding me back. I told a friend I'm out to about it and she said I should test how straight he is. I have no idea what she means but she's on to something.
Re: I my friend gay? Believe me dude, no one is going to judge you for being scared to talk to him. Every single one of us has been there, and I especially know all too well how hard it can be to have that conversation with someone. Just take your time, there's no rush if you don't want there to be. Have some confidence and you'll be fine!
