I met this guy about a week ago at one of my school's LGBT groups, and we started talking about music and similar interests. We share so much in common, and after spending just one evening with him, I developed a huge crush on him. He's incredibly kind and friendly and just makes me want to spend more time with him. I am totally inexperienced when it comes to things like crushes, relationships, and dating. He's the first gay crush I've ever had, and I'm falling for him. I even wrote and composed a piano/vocal love song directed at him (although I'm not sure I'd ever actually share it with him). Like I said, I'm becoming a hopeless romantic. It feels especially strange since my only contact with him has been one evening plus a few casual Facebook messages here and there. How can I be falling for someone I barely know? Love is such a wonderful, yet complex, beast. Recently on Twitter, he tweeted about having a crush, and it got me really jittery. Could he have reciprocated feelings? It seems crazy, but I can't help but wonder. The hardest part is that he's on the university swim team, so he's incredibly busy and doesn't have a ton of free time. I swam at a pretty high level in high school, so I understand his busy schedule. I just want to spend time with him and find out if he's interested, so I have somewhere to go from. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I think we've all *wanted* to be in your position. Just make yourself available. Try and invite him to something, and see what kind of response you get. Don't tell him you're head over heels just yet, spend some time together and work him into your life. If you're not going to earn him as a friend you don't deserve him as a boyfriend. So keep being a good guy and keep showing him your good side. Look for signs in the time you spend together that he might be open to an advance. There's no fast way into a good relationship
wow. i haven't been in a similar situation... yet. lol. upon reading your post,it seems like there is nothing definite to say that he likes you. the "crush" on twitter might be somebody else. nevertheless, enjoy spending time with him! but don't fall for him yet. as you have said, you find out if he's also interested.
haha, this sounds so familiar! I'm like, in the exact same position as you xD I joined my first LGBT group 2 weeks ago. I also fell hard for my first gay crush. We've also only met the once, and since then, have also only shared a few facebook encounters. I second EVERYTHING penguin wrote : ) Make yourself available and try to invite him to something. You really need to spend time together. Spending time together is the only way you'll be able to explore and develop your relationship, whatever it turns out to be. It's unfortunate that your crush has a busy lifestyle, but you'll just have to try a little harder to find something the two of you can do together / cross paths over. That's what i'm currently doing. Near where I live there is this big event going on, and I threw my crush an invite; just the two of us xD. Its something we're both into and something I knew he would totally enjoy going to, and therefore couldn't refuse xD. I have to admit, I got pretty lucky! After suffering in silence for the last two weeks thinking about him every single day, I'm super stoked to have the opportunity to spend a day together to get to know him better, and hopefully, get him to like me too : ) The way I figure, if I can work my way in, he'll be more receptive to spending time with me in the future, and it'll be easier to become good friends. From there, who knows what could happen! Best wishes!
Thanks for your advice, guys! It's good to know I'm not alone in this, too. haha I figured I'd try to get my usual group of friends together for a game of Cards Against Humanity or something and invite him to that. I figured it would be good to hang out with him in a group and introduce him to some of my friends before planning something for just the two of us (which would obviously be a ways down the road). I understand relationships take time to develop, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I just wish we could hang out more. @Flynn You'll have to let me know how things go with your crush.
Just be thankful that you at least have a chance with your crush... I would sleep with an old nun if it meant I could be in your situation lol
@Fishman27 Sure! I went out with him yesterday :icon_wink and we spent a whole 15 hours together :eek: That's too long a time to spend with ANYBODY, haha, let alone someone I only met the once! My nerves were killing me all day, I'm just really thankful that he was so kind and patient with me. He could have easily bailed numerous times but he seemed to want to stick it out to its very end. It was even his idea to grab dinner afterwards instead of just going straight home. I was quite surprised about that. If I could do yesterday over again? I would remind myself that periods of silence are a natural and very acceptable part of a conversation. Every time our little chats terminated I would let it get to my head! If I could undo one regret? When it was time to say goodbye I wish I had given some prior thought to what I could have / should have said. My nerves can seize me up pretty bad and I end up failing to communicate how much I've appreciate spending time with the people I'm with. I kinda didn't say much, if anything. One day I hope to reach the greeting/goodbye hug level, like I've seen him at with his other friends. That would be just perfect PS: Be sure to tell us about any developments in your own quest for a relationship! I'll definitely be reading
@Flynn That's awesome! I'll probably start by just hanging out with him with a group of friends, but I'll keep you updated. I have a calc midterm later this week, but after that, I'm going to try to plan a get-together.
UPDATE: Had my Calc exam today, and I do believe I crushed it! But anyways... Our group had a meeting on Wednesday, and it felt amazing to spend time with him! After the meeting, one of the co-presidents asked if anyone wanted to go get ice cream. The guy that I like said he couldn't go, which saddened me because I was hoping we'd have more time to talk. I said I would go. In the end, he ended up coming along. I don't know if my going had anything to do with his decision to go, but I didn't care. I had the chance to spend an extra half hour with him. Aftwr we got ice cream and as we said our goodbyes, I asked him if he'd be at the meeting next week, to which he replied, "Yes." I definitely have something to look forward to next week! But before then, we may get a chance to hang out. I'm getting a group of friends together to play some board/card games this weekend, and he said he was definitely interested in going. That's where I'm at today, with renewed enamorment.
Getting to spend time with a crush ... It's a great feeling, isn't it? xD Had you been having much contact with him before your most recent encounter? I'd love to know what's been going through your mind. Like, if you've been thinking about him much, had any distracting thoughts keeping you from concentrating on studying for your exams, that sort of thing, haha. I feel like I can barely hold it together most of the time xD There's a party next weekend and my crush is going to be there. I can't wait to see him again.
It sure is! I have had very limited contact with him since Wednesday. We've exchanged a few Facebook messages and texts about hanging out this weekend, but beyond that, I haven't had a chance to see him. He lives on the opposite side of campus, and, as I said before, he's really busy. As far as what's been going through my head, yeah, I've been thinking about him. I think about him when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. I see his face everywhere I go. I keep picturing us doing things around campus together. I have noticed myself getting a little distracted lately, especially in term of getting homework done. I check my Facebook and Twitter every chance I get just to see if he posted anything. I've been getting better recently, simply because I know I have limited time this weekend to get my work done, and I want to make sure I have as much time as possible to hang out with him. I've been pretty good at focusing for important exams and labs, etc., but I also have noticed that my mind will wander. I just can't wait for this weekend! Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! So excited! haha
Just submitted a new thread with the latest. Thanks to everyone who has given advice so far. I appreciate your thoughts.
