Death Threats from Family: Really scared

*inhales, exhales* okay, calm down. Firstly, you made the right choice, going to a hotel. Personally, I would get off most social networking sites (not here), hide for a few weeks, maybe days, and get a new place for safety, but don't tell ANYONE where it is. Call the police after a few days, and Pray. I hope this helps.

Serena

 

This is unbelievable but not unheard of.

I would not wait to notify the police, you need to have a case created now, show them the evidence from the texts and get a transcript, pronto!

Go somewhere that cannot be known to them, your own relatives may be too easily found.

These threats are to be taken seriously. If they are from another country, their names could be notified to the border authorities right now to block them right then and there.

DO NOT WAIT.

 

My goodness...
I don't know what to tell you about waiting to call the police... but I do know that you should at the first sign of her parents acting on their words. If they show up at the condo for example.
Stay safe and don't let people know where you are for a little while.

 

Please keep in mind that a lot of news stories about honour killings are usually from Pakistan and India and extremist points of view. Lebanon has a mixed view regarding LGBT (and cannot be put in the same bowl as, say Saudi Arabia), and as we are all aware, it doesn't matter ethnicity for there to be a negative reaction to coming out.

I have Indian relatives on one side of my family, and my situation wasn't far off from yours. The difference being the death threats came from a few thousand miles away out of the country, so we didn't feel any immediate danger.

My suggestion would be to contact a local LGBT support group. Preferably one that is either Middle East/Arab-centric because they will have had dealings with situations similar to yours.

I did a quick google: UCLA LGBT Resource Center dunno how much that helps.

Above all, you want to stay calm. You both need each other, and you also need to be able to discern between anger and rage. One being a stage towards acceptance and open-dialogue, the other being potentially dangerous. If your partner doesn't want to involve the police just yet, then agree on moving somewhere that her relatives don't know about - be it a friend's, a hotel, or one of your relatives. If you have a common friend who is trustworthy, then talk to them and keep them as your support. It will be important to have someone to trust and reliable in your immediate vicinity if you feel in danger.

Has she spoken to her mother? As you only mentioned the brother and her father; it could be a very hot-headed reaction from them. They need cooling off time before contact is made with them again. Keep a record of all your communications.

Decide away from your home whether you want to involve the police now, or after you have got local advice from an advocate group or LGBT group. The reason I stress on this, is that you can get additional advice for your circumstances and you also have them as that additional support and, if need be, evidence/witness.

I hope things work out soon for you both, I know how terrifying and horrible it can be.

EDIT: I found this: http://www.glas.org/ it is country-blocked for me (ironically, I'm in the Middle East) so not sure if it has any contact numbers for you, but it is the Gay and Lesbian Arab Society website.

 

People fuelled by religious insanity are capable of the most wicked acts imaginable. Take it seriously and be glad they spoke their poisonous minds BEFORE acting. Now you have a chance to react.

 

That's outrageous. I'm so sorry you're going through this. The funny thing is, Christianity isn't supposed to be about punishing others. "Let he who is without sin..." and all that. Gandhi said, ""I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." I feel like you're getting the full force of this reality, and it frustrates me that this is the world we have to deal with. Keep safe, and keep us posted. (*hug*)

 

My god, this is terrible. I'm glad you made it somewhere safely. I don have anything to add that hasn't been said already, but you are in my thoughts.

 

Glad to hear you are safe and have a plan.

It is terribly stressful and I really feel for you both. With the family going back and forth to Lebanon, I can see where the dichotomy of thinking conflicts. It probably doesn't feel like the right time, but it's good to have some "educate" ammo up your sleeves.

There is a very prominant LGBT group in Beirut - https://www.facebook.com/LebLGBTmonitor/info (info there to Raynbow)
And an advocacy group - Helem.net

Would it help if she wrote a letter to her mother? The relationship between her parents sounds very "old country" to me, but mothers still have a quiet mind of their own, and reaching out this way may help her a little bit.

The brother appears to be the voice box of the situation. If your partner has the title of the car still at the house, perhaps look into having a towing company remove it for you. To your house location, so that the brother can not necessarily follow to your current location.

I still strongly suggest speaking to an Arab-American group or LGBT advocacy group to perhaps help with some mediation. It sounds pointless, but the power of language can be quite a strong catalyst to a peaceful outcome - having someone able to speak Arabic could really help.

 

Oh no! :icon_sad: I don't have any advice, but I hope you get through this safely.