I posted recently but I decided to rethread to both clarify and update. I am a 17 year old male and I'm and in the closet to almost everybody. I am in love with my (supposedly) straight friend. He gives me this general feeling that he is gay, and, long story short, I kind of made a move on him a few months ago. I was drunk, he wasn't, and, needless to say, nothing happened at all. It wasn't N obvious move, just a wandering hand, after I asked him if he was gay. Ok, maybe obvious! I am in the closet to him, I believe. We are rather close, I would say. We sleep in the same bed whenever he sleeps over and sometimes, when it's hot, he even strips to his underwear and a tee shirt. A few nights ago, we were sleeping in the same bed as usual, and he started to cuddle up to me (apparently sleeping) I was of course ecstatic. He continued to put his hand on my chest and his other hand on mine, still seeming asleep. I rolled onto my side, my back facing him. A few seconds went by and he tapped me on the side, but I didn't respond. He untangled himself from me and turned his back to mine. I had to idea his to deal with this in the morning. After he left, I texted him and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He claimed he didn't know what I was talking about and eventually came up with "did I make a move on you in my sleep? It happens a lot." At this point, I really feel like he is bs'ing. I made up some bullshit excuse to what I was talking about and I could feel a sense of relief from him. We did not discuss it again. What do you think of this? What should I do? I'm in love with him, but I cannot risk my friendship.
If I were in your shoes, I'd sit him down and say something like "listen, you're my best friend, and I don't want things to be weird between us, but there's something we need to talk about... the thing is, I'm gay, and what happened the other night was a little confusing for me. I just need you to be honest about what happened, we don't ever have to talk about it again but I just really need to know what that was all about, ok?" So, something along the lines of that. Maybe don't tell him that you're crushing on him, but just clear things up a bit to put your mind at ease.
I think that maybe he was pretending to be asleep but then again, some people do have wandering hands when they sleep.
I think you should ask him about it, be sweet and caring and reassuring.. see what he says back... just be sure not to attack him, or come at him too strong, make sure you tell him that he is your best friend and how much you care about him, but something about the other night has been on your mind and you would like to discuss it
It's a little bit fishy seeing how he did all of that in his sleep, but I feel like you should tell him if there was anything done that night on purpose, and you should let him know that you don't care if it was purposefully or not, but you just want the truth. Remember to not sound intimidating or mad, and don't sound like you are going to explode in confetti any second either. Use a somewhat nice tone, but do t overdo it, if you know what I mean.
Oh my God, I had the quasi exact situation. I eventually came out to him and he told me that he had known that I like him all along though he's not [gay]. Our friendship prevailed and somehow deepened. Since your crush seem to be a great friend, he could...CAN take the impact and would...WILL be knowing and supportive. Hugs and Good Luck!
You need to have a face-to-face sit down conversation with him - just texting ain't gonna cut it. Talk to him about what happened and tell him that you're okay with it, but not if he's going to be deceptive about it. You'll be amazed how much people's tone changes if they know how you feel about the matter.
