So yeah, a talk. There have been many problems between me and my parents, so much that I want to move out, and am finding that difficult. There are ways in which I could make the moving out work, but for some reason they depend on my parent's cooperation. They're aware of my intention to move out, but they seem to be almost in denial over it, and whenever I bring it up, they say I'm too dependant emotionally on their support. (The truth is that their idea of support has resulted in my dropping out of school once, but I can't exactly tell them that). So I need to have a talk with them, try to convince them to help me, that I don't need emotional support from them beyond what I could get on the phone, and that I'll do better alone. I mean, its reasonable for me to want to move out at my age. It doesn't have to mean that I hate my parents (which they accuse me of when this topic comes up). I just want a life of my own. So, what I want from my kind thread readers: When is the best time to begin this talk? We're going for a post-birthday meal today, because they were away on my birthday, and I'm unsure whether bringing it up today would be a good thing. What should I say, beyond what I've already said I'll say? How do I stop them misinterpreting it, as they've often done in the past, and crying loads. Stop me chickening out. Thanks. I'm going more for "friendly parting" than "honesty" here.
Am in similar situation, i.e wanting to move out. - I think maybe you should hold off for a couple of days, I mean you don't want to sour you b'day dinner -You should wait for a time where you are financially independent, show them this, that you are a responsible mature adult that can look after themself - Perhaps you should explain to them how you feel (in a calm manner), that being at home is difficult because of the emotional and mental strain that you are under (I'm assuming). Discuss with them if they have any issues and try to address them. -Emphasise that this is not about them, this is about you. You don't hate them, it's just that you would like your own space/independence and this is probably the best way to achieve it. -Or you could use the excuse, "work is so far away, I don't think I can handle the travel, I was thinking of moving closer to work so I am not as tired." -Have a trial separation where you live on your own or your friend's house for a few days or a week and see how that goes, it's not permanent and can give you and your parents a better idea of what a future situation would be like. You can regularly keep in contact with your parents. -Perhaps set a date to stop chickening out, or we can keep you accountable
Is moving out really that big of deal? The other day my mum came into my room and I was like, oh by the way, I'm leaving uni and moving out. Simple as that. My life my rules. Deal with it! Whether or not that is a good way of doing it I'm yet to learn (I'm only 20...so I can still be stupid...). As long as you can be financially independent, so get a job and work what's the big deal?
