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How do I tell my gay boyfriend I prefer women?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Whitechocolate, Oct 4, 2013.

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  1. Whitechocolate

    Whitechocolate
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I've been out as bisexual since I was 16. I was convinced that I liked both equally. However five years later, having been with dozens of men I've only ever been fulfilled on three separate occasions. In my current relationship of almost six months I haven't been fulfilled once. I have realized now that this is because while I find men arousing and enjoy fooling around, I have no desire to go all the way with them. I like him a lot and care for our friendship, how do I preserve our friendship while telling him I've realized that I prefer women?
     
    #1 Whitechocolate, Oct 4, 2013
  2. Englishlad

    Englishlad
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    He has the right to know, but tell him gently don't just blurt it out. He may be upset but tell him that's how you feel and don't want to hurt him. Tell him that you want to be friends and that you are sorry.
     
    #2 Englishlad, Oct 4, 2013
  3. DrkRayne

    DrkRayne
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    Why tell him you prefer women. Just...end it kindly as it just "isnt working" for you and leave it at that. You want to remain friends and yuo care about him, but romantically this isnt working.

    NO need to make him feel bad for his gender or encourage more dislike of bi people than already exist

    Also if you end things there should be no " arousing .... fooling around," as you don't want him the way he wants you. Don't string him along. Just end it, be friends and find a woman you want.

    Hope this helps.
     
    #3 DrkRayne, Oct 4, 2013
  4. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    I'd say that if he's feeling more strongly about you than you are for him, don't expect to be friends.

    Tell him the truth about why you're going, tell him that if he can manage it then you would like to be friends, but if he needs distance to get over his feelings, then you need to give it to him.

    A lot of times you can't just go to being friends because while you might feel friends-like toward him, it may be hard for him to feel friends-like toward you.

    So long story short, be honest about your reasons for leaving and you desire to keep him in your life, but in the end, know that the decision about being friends rests on him and with regard to his needs.
     
    #4 thedreamwatch, Oct 4, 2013
  5. Zerfs

    Zerfs
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    I don't think u never should of went with him in the first place. If u where going to hurt his feeling like that. And don't ask him to be your friend just end it, cause it will maybe be hard for him to try being friends with u and he might start thinking you like him back. And if u do ask him to be your friend I hope he turns you down.

    Sry but that's how I feel don't go with someone if you just gone play around witht hem and hurt they feelings!!!!
     
    #5 Zerfs, Oct 4, 2013
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