So, long story short, i fell in love with one of my guy friends. It's important to know that in my whole gay life, i have never fell with one of my guys friend. Also, no one knows that i am gay. I fell in love/crush with this guy since a couple of months ago, we've become a good friend who hang out 2-3 times a week. And i kinda suspect he is gay, but i don't want to make an assumption. The only thing that bothers me is that whenever i hang out with them, i am completely different person, i spoke things that i would never do, i tell things that are not me, like i was being so heartless towards people who need help (while i'm not). I said bad things about people with religion and stuff (while i'm not). He even told me that i'm so heartless and cold. It really saddens me because whenever i'm with him, words came out like waterfall... Is that what people call being nervous to someone you like that you said things that you're not meant to say? like thinking about them all the time, waiting them to reply your text. I think i was being infatuated or crushing him. But, it is different than what i have feel before. So... help me? I also realized that i tease him a lot (calling him nerd, etc), like in a bad way :tears: even when i didn't mean it.
maybe you should open up to him and explain how you feel, is clearly one of your very good friends, or if your not ready maybe apologize and say that you get anxious and your sorry for how you act in those situations.. when Im anxious I act like weird so I understand but you don't want to be mean or act morally different then who you are.. try and be aware next time and if you can refrain from pushing it too far, you don't want to hurt someone you care about
