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"Coming Out" to a boyfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kitnkaboodle, Oct 5, 2013.

  1. kitnkaboodle

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    Hi all

    I've been struggling with finding the answer to this question, even after asking my best friends. I even Googled "should I tell my boyfriend I was previously in a same-sex relationship," and every other similar Google search.

    I am actively seeking a relationship via online dating sites and I'm faced with this underlying fear of what someone new will say about the fact that I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl, whom I loved and cared for.

    I toss around the questions, "do I tell the person outright?" "Do I tell the person at all?" "Do I wait until after a few dates?"

    I feel like I have an obligation to tell the person I'm about to date, because that relationship made me who I am today, and it was a significant part of my life after high school. I also fear that anyone new will view it as a deal breaker for dating me.

    I am not ashamed of my past, I'm just not entirely sure how to talk about it with someone new coming into my life. My family and friends are fully aware of my previous relationship. I've even dated since the end of that relationship, and they also knew of it and the extent of it.

    I am a straight female and looking for a husband. I know that is what I want and I know if I meet the right person, they should accept me for who I am and the past that I've had.

    So, do I tell the guy I like and am thinking about getting serious with? Or do I not? He's going to see pictures on FB and figure it out... do I wait until he asks?

    I really appreciate any advice and insight I can get on this matter. I have a heavy heart and I know I shouldn't.

    Thank you for reading and taking the time - hope I can get some help.
     
  2. Argentwing

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    If he loves you, he'll accept you, past and all. If not, you're likely better off without him.

    ^^It's as simple as that, but it's also likely that if he is a guy, he'll have a good time picturing you with your ex. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  3. kitnkaboodle

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    RSwordsman - All thoughts I have contemplated. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  4. BiPenguin

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    It's a good way to see if he is accepting of who you are.
     
  5. kitnkaboodle

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    The other piece to the puzzle is that although I am a God fearing, faithful Christian and am accepting of same-sex relationships, he may not be as a God fearing, faithful Christian. I feel like that's where the judgement will come in. And it may not be that at all, it may just be a guy not wanting to date a girl that's been in my shoes before.