so Me and My Sister got into a conversation last night and i told her, i had a girlfriend and this is what went down, i Kept the messages to just prove my point to my family Me: I have a girlfriend Her: who? Me: This girl from school Her:Name? Me: Illyasah Her: Black? Clearly Me: Yes, she is black Her: Ew. Jungle fever Me: what do you mean? Her: You have jungle fever, it means you like black girls. I bet her cootie smells Me: There isn't anything wrong with that and I haven't had sex with her. Her: i hope you don't. what the fuck? Me: why not? if i ever do, not now but in the future. Her: so oblivious Me: whats wrong with having sex with a black girl? Her: Gross. Are you really that desperate for affection that you would settle for some ratchet black girl when you deserve A sexy clean white girl. Me: stop being racist. Her: stop being desperate. You are better than that Me: how am I being desperate? Her: because you are settling for the person person who agrees to "date you" Me: I liked her before that Her: she is probably ugly Me: Not all black girls are ugly, she isn't 'ratchet' either Her: send me a picture Me: I can't. she doesn't have a Facebook Her: mmmhmmm Me: what do you mean by that? she doesn't. I tried and asked her. she deleted it a year ago Her: Are you just doing this because you can't get a boyfriend? Just get over it already. Things will get better for you. when you get older, you don't have to play the lesbian until then Me: I'm not playing the lesbian thing Her: Then explain why you were interested in boys for the first 15 years of your life and then all the sudden you like girls, I just think you are confused. You have No good male relationships in your life and so now you think, you hate men *NOTE* I then explained to her that how i realized how women impacted and that i'm not confused and that I know myself better than she does. (out of my sick pride) then she said this Her: we will see Me: what do you mean, we will see Her: whatever sexuality, you end up being. I just wish you would see how beautiful you are inside and out and realize you don't have to settle with the first person that agree's to be in relationship with you and don't say looks don't matter because, that's what ugly people say Me: Ashleigh (sister's name). she didn't agree to date me. I liked her...I had feelings for her. I got butterflies around her and i told her, i liked her and thought at first she rejected me ...but she didn't. we waited a bit of time to think things through and we decided to date. were not dating to make it last. were dating to enjoy each other's company and get to know each other a bit more. that's it. Her: i'm not signing off this relationship until a see a picture Me: *explains what she looks like* Her: i'll believe it when i see it. So are you the girl or the boy? Final Note: I then, explained to her, that there is NO "man" in our relationship and then told her that my girlfriend is bisexual and then she said bisexuality is immature and, you'll grow out of and that bisexuality is not scientifically proven to be real or something I need advice on how to handle this. I know, that I can ignore but with my kind of personality, i can't. Should I believe her about having No good male relationships and all that? I don't know what i should, I do about that. also, out of this whole conversation, what is she saying? because, i'm kind of confused on some of the things she said
To be blunt, she's being racist and she's not respecting your thoughts or feelings. In that light, I don't even know if showing her a picture would help at all. There really is nothing more to say besides the fact that I do hope she doesn't sway your views; she's supposed to be supporting you, and not confronting you. I have had minimal nice relationships with guys. I'm still gay, though. By your sister's logic, wouldn't I be all over women? As for if bisexuality has been scientifically proven to exist or not... That's a cute argument. If you were so inclined, you could ask her to cite her sources.
I don't know your sister well enough to make that call; even if I did, it could be crass to voice that opinion. No matter the answer, I don't think you need to listen to those words of hers if they're not helpful or supportive.
Well, it could be both, but only she will have the answers to these questions. Regardless, your sister needs a reality check. Since when does she need to sign off on a relationship that you want to have. If you have feelings for Illyasah, and like her, you don't need any more confirmation than that. Go out on dates, and get to know her better. If it develops into something more/deeper and lasting, that's great! If not, you have given it a try.
I think your sister needs a reality check. I don't see any for of support in that conversation. She didn't congratulate you. She went straight to judgment-mode. I don't think you should send her a picture, you don't need to justify yourself or your girlfriend to her. I don't know your sister, so I can't get a complete picture. From what you've shared, though, she seems very racist, a bit homophobic, and not at all supportive of your choice. I think you might consider confronting her about those issues. Make her defend her stance. It might make her think differently.
thanks guys, i will. about the bisexuality thing, she said, i need to cite my sources that bisexuality is real, does anyone have any?
The countless bisexuals would be a start...I don't have anything scientific but you could try showing her The Bisexual Index | Welcome to the Index! and see if that helps...I mean it won't but still
Well if she thinks its an opinion, then remind her you are entitled to yours and so is your girlfriend, and your girlfriends opinion is that she is bisexual. To be honest I would be more concerned about the fact that she is apparently a massive racist rather than her misguided ideas about sexuality...I would have thought if the two should ever meet, the whole 'so YOU'RE the ugly stinking unclean black thing that's banging my sister" thing would be slightly more disturbing than the "so how come you're too chicken to just be gay then" thing!
I don't know what to say. Reading that conversation made me want to cry. Be you. Love who you want to love. You were honest w/your sister. You owe her no explanations. You don't have to prove anything to her. I'm proud of you. Hugs. Rose.
I agree with Rose that the racism is the major issue. That needs to be taken care of asap. Race is 100% irrelevant and not optional. A bit of ironic, dark levity though: If bisexuals don't exist, could your girlfriend kick your sister in the shin and say, "I didn't kick you. I'm just an opinion."? Seriously, though...I really hope your sister sees the error of her ways. What a sad, lonely worldview.
MerBear put it exactly right. Your situation is just like mine. My sister who is 25 denies my sexuality and ever since I came out to everyone she has now denied my existence. My parents want me to pretend like everything is great between us but things probably will never will be good again. We are nothing to each other no matter if my parents accept or not. You just deal with it and move on even though it is somewhat devastating and hard.
Nailed it, m8! First things first: Racism! Nononono! I feel really bad for you. She's not gonna be supportive. Ignore those comments, they're just horrible. Second: I've ONLY dated girls, yet I'm like 90% gay. By her logic I can ONLY be straight. Pfft. Ignore those comments too. They're just ignorant. Your sexuality is something that isn't any of her business. You can be a Queer Genderfluid, if you want. Or a pansexual, or a bisexual. Totally none of her jurisdiction and all of yours. Third: This is YOUR life! Even if she's older than you, you can date whoever the hell you please. She doesn't need to 'sign off' on it! I am OUTRAGED at her plain ignorance and stupidity! Just ignore her. Don't even bring it up with her. Don't send pics. She'll just be racist. Not only that but she's extremely rude to you and your girlfriend. I would ignore her and leave her out of it.
Wow... what i got from that was: "I don't care who or what you date, as long as I find them physically attractive and white." With all due respect, I'm not sure you should worry about your sister's validation into your sexuality. Regarding scientific proof: Kinsey scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (Can I link that? So sorry if I shouldn't have ) The only criticism it has is that people basically think there should be more points on the scale. But, these guys didn't study 'opinions'. Also, different girls nether regions don't smell any different - that's ridiculous. And if so - how does your sister know, eh? Maybe she's a closet lesbian and needs to get a thread of her own.
