Hi guys. so quick update: I met someone online who lives fairly near to me and we've talked every day since we met about 3-4 weeks ago. It's great its the first guy I've ever spoke to for this long and its that step closer to coming out we're arranging meeting up soon So we're both in the closet (me more than him, he's told a few friends I havent told anyone) and last night we both went out in our towns on a night out and i called him throughout the night then i went home before he did. He text me last night saying he went to a gay bar, i didnt get it till the morning. So we talked a minute ago and i was like so what happened? and he said what do you think? i said you got with someone? he said yeah. We then started talking about something else. He didnt do anything wrong and he didnt say it like he was guilty but my natural feeling was a shitty one i feel bit better now but i am jealous and yet he's probably been the more forward one. I think part of the jealousy isnt he got with someone but actually he's coming out more than me and i find it so difficult! Anyway, is it ok or understandable to be jealous? This feeling and all this drama makes me not wanna be gay
There's nothing wrong with it, and of course its understandable! Everyone gets jealous occasionally! Also, don't forget that you might have the same drama if this had been some girl you were texting! Don't start telling yourself you don't want to be gay because of a bit of 'drama', you'll make yourself feel worse!
Yeah I know, what i meant by it was more I think if it was a girl i wouldnt have to hide anything, I'm quite a chatty person but theres no one i really feel i can trust with something this big, and i hate all this secrecy!! every single day i think ill just tell my mum, or my step dad, or my friend from work its just AAAARRGHH and this has been going on for months now! National coming out day Oct 11th, maybe then? thanks for the advice btw x ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2013 at 10:53 PM ---------- also would it be a bad idea to tell him how i felt?
Depends how you define 'bad'. I've recently become a firm believer in the 'tell people how you're feeling' thing, but it's hard to do! Especially if you are worried about the reaction. I'd maybe see how he gets on with this other guy first though! But that's just me! Also, as for the coming out thing...the way I see it is this. The more you think about how important it is that it happens, the harder it gets! Telling my best friend was really REALLY hard because I hyped it up, telling my Dad was easy! If you're not comfortable doing telling someone yet, then don't bother. Try and figure out WHY you're not comfortable telling them and see if you can work on that.
he's not seeing this guy or anything just got with him, i cant tell people because im petrified of the change! then i doubt myself. I just wish i didnt have to tell people i guess. Its too much, but i gotta do it soon its literally taken over my life!
Oh I see, oh well then go for it if you want to. I assume this is the same guy you mentioned in your other thread about sexting? For coming out, who exactly do you think you NEED to tell and why? Parents, family, friends, that dwarf from your book club who steals your opinions?
ha yeah same guy someone i can trust i guess but family, (mum and step dad) I hate lying to them or keeping this secret but the fer is crippling
You're not lying. You don't share every single bit of information with your parents and you don't have to. Nobody would expect you to. How do you think they would react if you told them?
