Okay, so me and my girlfriend have been dating a week. Not long, i know but I haven't held her hand yet and I really want to but I don't know how. Like, whenever, i try to hold her hand, i stop myself and feel it would be awkward and plus, I really, dont know how to hold her hand, like how to approach the whole thing. I haven't kissed her yet obviously but I feel kissing is easier, i dont know. I have more confidence in kissing her than holding her hand she offered to make the first move but i told her know. how do i do this? I know, a lot will say "it comes natural" and I call bullshit because, its not natural, holding hands, doesn't just magically happen. someone has to make a move
Because some people are blessed with confidence that the rest of us can only dream of! I assume you've hugged or something, yes?
Look, no one on her can take your hand place it in her hand for you. YOU have to have the courage to do this. Think about when your mom or dad or grandparent held your hand to cross the street. Yeah, maybe, they said "give me your hand" but more than likely they kind of just took into their own. And think about when you are walking next to someone (even with height disparities) your hands are very close. Just hold hers. Don't analyze the "is this a good time?" It really is no big deal! You need some tough love: you are wrong, it is very simple. By coming on here, you are building it up in your mind too much. Trust me...the next time you are walking together JUST DO IT!! Heck, it may be a little awkward the first time, but unless YOU have the courage do it the first time you aren't gonna grow, and that comes only from within you. Being a teenager is all about this kind of "awkward" moments. Asking someone on a date or to a dance, putting yourself out there, but I assure you the smile you will have after will make it worth it. This is me pushing you in the pool!!! Now go do it!!!!
Thats not very helpful. Perhaps you could ask her if it's ok for you to hold her hand and then that might make you feel more confident about doing it.
I agree with the above, you should ask. Here's my suggestion from a hopeless romantic: As you're walking together, talking, or silently, just suddenly stop and turn around, look her in the eyes and ask her if you can hold her hand. Worked for me! :icon_wink
I tried to ask actually but i ended up claming up. I try and try but can never get the words out, ya know? she wants me to do it. why? i dont know, she says she just likes holding hands
I understand it is hard to just hold someone's hand! Its sounds so simple and you try to talk yourself up and get the confidence to just DO IT already but for some reason you cant! Its scary and daunting but let me tell you, once you do it its an incredible feeling and just a relief. In the beginning it took me a while to hold my girlfriends hand and I ended up doing an awkward pinky holding thing lol but it ended up being cute and from there I was able to slowly ease into holding her hand.. I know it is scary, and part of it is us making it seem much scarier then it is, but try it, work your way into it and you will be so relieved and happy when you do!
I was so nervous the first time I tried holding someone's hand. But I knew it had to be done in order for me to feel more comfortable to go further. Once you grab her hand, I promise everything will feel better and the nervousness will simmer down.
I was being facetious since obviously no one would be asking this if they were so sure. That said, since merbear feels nervous about even asking, then she is in a real bind. If being seen holding hands by others is causing the hangup, then try attempting it first in private. Ultimately, you have to decide what does being a girlfriend mean. You don't have to hold hands, but if you feel that's part of what such a relationship means, then sometihing has to change.
Alternatively, if you feel a kiss might be easier, you could go for that? You'll find yourself in the same situation, but if you can get past that one you might feel slightly better about the holding hands...
