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Back and need some lady advice please

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Starling, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. Starling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere, GA
    Out Status:
    All but family
    So I've finally made it back to forum... Work and school hit me like a ton of bricks and man has a crap ton changed and I am well over due for some advice. Alright let's see. I've came out to the majority of my friends as transgender, started binding and passing in public with them, everything on that end of the spectrum is surpsingly going very smooth. They've been able to make the transition with pronouns and my name very easily! Needless to say I have really awesome friends. Right now though I am having one issue that I really could use some opinions on. If any of you remember me from my posts during the summer you may remember that I was another unfortunate one to completely enamored with my straight best friend. I made her aware of these feelings and she basically "let me down easy" and it stopped being an issue for the most part, though my feelings never really went away. Well, within the past month or so I have been doing my best to pass as a guy, and when I first started to, she and I had a conversation about how she was sexually attracted to me and it confused her because she thought this made her gay because biologically I'm a female. We were able to determine this was not the case because she was not attracted the feminine part of me, but the masculine person I now am on a day to day basis. She was really able to think of it normally as finding any other guy attractive. As tempted as I was to try to see if I could make something out of this, I knew our friendship was more important and again decided to set my feelings aside. I was prepared to write off as, she's my best friend, and just happens to find me attrative, nothing else. Well about three weeks ago she admitted to me that she has been struggling with what she thinks are actual romantic feelings for me, and wanted to test out how she would feel about a physical aspect of a relationship (you know, kissing, other stuff) and of course I agreed. We have since being seeing each other under the radar, and I say "seeing" because she doesn't want to label it as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship even though we exhibit all the behaviors of a typical relationship. She has even gone as far as to turn down guys, good guys that would be much less complicated for her to date, for whatever it is we have. I suppose what I'm asking is, should I continue this if I think she is never going to want to give me the boyfriend label? I understand right now her not wanting people to know, because she has always had this "straight as an arrow" attitude, and because of the situation with my parents (who now "accept" I like girls) I am not in a place to completely come out as transgender to everyone, and to the school and such it would appear to everyone she is dating a butch lesbian, not a transmale. I am just afraid she is never going to able to get past fear of the public opinion or maybe never even to be able to completely sort out her feelings for me and I will be left with a broken heart and a damaged friendship. I would apppreciate any input :icon_sad::help:
     
    #1 Starling, Oct 8, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2013