I share everything with my girlfriend, everything. We've been together for a year and a half and we've lived together that entire time. We recently picked up our stuff and moved cross-country. From Florida to Arizona. It's scary being out here sometimes, but she seems more at home now than she ever has in Florida. She's used to traveling around, she was born in New Mexico. I'm a Florida girl. Born and raised. All my family and friends too. Except Beau, she, out of everyone I trusted with my life. I want to marry her one day. I hoped anyway. Recently I've felt very alone, like she could do without me here, today I read her phone, something I told her I secret she's decided to tell her friend. She promised it was between us though. I can't confront her on the matter because she doesn't want me in her phone, I've done it before and it nearly caused a break up, at the very least a fight that will most certainly start again. Why does she keep talking to her friends about my private matters? What did I tell her in secret? That I wasn't sure I was comfortable as a girl. I wouldn't dare tell anyone that, but she did..not only that, but she compared it to an ex of hers being trans and how she'd act like she'd support me but then she'd break it off. As in our relationship. And just be my friend, if I decided I was more comfortable being a male. What do I do? I'm scared. I don't want to tell her anything personal anymore. But I do at the same time. She's my partner, my love. I want to spend my life with her..but does she?--maybe not. She says she does, but I'm learning she says a lot of things.
Ummm yea I would confront her about that. Yea you looked through her phone and all but what she did was worse. Ask to talk to her about it.
If there is one thing I've learned from telling people I'm trans, it's that it hits bloody hard. All the things you have to go through to come to terms with it, everyone else has to but a hell of a lot quicker. Not everyone can do that on their own. If she told a friend, it might MIGHT just be because she needed to talk about it but couldn't say it to you. If she's worried that you'll be a man and she can't deal with that, she will want another opinion. If she was telling it to EVERYONE that would be a different story. Also, you know, you can say 'well she broke out privacy agreement by telling her friend' but so did you by looking through her phone, so you really don't have a lot to go on there. Heck I'd be pissed if someone looked through my phone and I don't even USE the thing. You can't turn around and say "I trusted you with this and I know I shouldn't have because I don't trust you at all and spied on you!" As for the 'pretend support then breaking it off'. You want to be a man. You want to be treated as a man and for all intents and purposes be a fully fledged man. Your partner is a lesbian. If she has no attraction to men, then to her mind she will have no attraction to you. PHYSICALLY. She says she would still be your friend so she recognizes that mentally you will be the same person, but physically there won't be anything because you WILL be different. The things she finds attractive about women probably won't exist on a man. She wants to support you through it and break it off afterwards, this suggests to me that she doesn't want you to feel bad about who you are inside and doesn't want to be the reason you CAN'T be that person. But equally, she doesn't want YOU to be the reason she is unhappy in a relationship. If she didn't even want to be friends afterwards I would be more inclined to say it was cruel, but it sounds like she's trying to make the absolute best of the situation the only way she knows how.
