how to support best friend(future boyfriend?) who wont accept himself

hi, i am 23, and i came out as gay when i was 21, got a boyfriend within about a month, who i was with for 2 yrs 4 months, we are no longer together (probably due to this friend im now asking about)

i became friends with the guy a year ago.

quick time line:

met him and i thought to myself his cute!
1 month later he splits up with his girl friend
6 months later we become good friends
8 months later we are now best friends
10 months later he tells me he thinks he is bi
10.5 months later i break up with my boyfriend who i spoke about above
10.5 months later he tells his parents he thinks his bi
11 months later we get pretty friendly
11 months later he says he cant accept him self as being not 'normal'
12 months later nothing has changed

iv asked him if he feels like we are dating (i feel like we are) and he says i dont know, and i said do you think we can become boyfriends and he says i dont know, he said he feels things are going a bit fast between us (nothing major has happened by the way)

he has only told me and his parents his bi, im pretty sure he is just gay though, he shows zero interest towards girls, and seems pretty gay to me, i ask if his gay, and he says i dont know.

his worried about what people will think, obviously, but his not ready to come out until he accepts it him self, so im a bit stuck of where to go with this now, i have linked him to many threads on this site, and im sure he has searched on here for more, but he does say its just what others think, and doesnt mean im the same.

he wants a family like most, and just wants to be normal, iv told him its not a big deal being gay, it will only be a big deal if he makes it one, but he says it is a big deal, he doesnt want to be gay.

we are very friendly and he doesnt want to lose me, and i do love him very much, and i know it will take time for him to accept himself but unfortunately its got to a point where its effecting me now, i cant stop thinking/worrying what will happen between us and im constantly worrying to the point of where i feel very ill

when i ask about if he thinks he can ever accept him self, he tells me his very sorry, and says he doesnt think he ever can.

so what do i do? i told him im happy to do things in secret first of all, but he doesnt even want that, but doesnt want to loose me....