I just recently started my first semester at my new college and there are a lot of good looking, in shape guys. When I see guys that looks attractive to me, I tell myself "yeah they're good looking and most likely straight." I thought I got over crushing on straight guys until I befriend one of the guys in my class. I know he's straight since he's told me about his recent break with a girl. I get annoyed because I don't want to like him. Yesterday in class, I started thinking he's cute but told myself "No... It's weird.... He's my friend and he's straight." :eusa_doh: How do you guys and girls deal with straight crushes?
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you know that's bullshit, right? He might have broken up with her because he's gay!!! Or he might be bisexual! You wouldn't know unless you actually go up to him and ask. Or come out to him and see how he responds.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to find straight guys attractive as long as you can reconcile that nothing is going to come of it. As for your friend, have you told him you're gay? If you're worried about screwing up a friendship get that out in the open right away and set some personal boundaries for yourself until it's no longer an issue.
I know that feel. I've had a best friend (who knows I'm gay) for 4 years now and I have a crush on him but he's straight (well that's what he says). It's really annoying, he's a great person and he's cute, and I think he probably knows I have a crush on him. Sometimes he we hug but I think it's more of a buddies thing. Basically, I can relate :c
The only thing that really got me away from "straight" crushes is experiencing real heartbreak from one. I do think that the way straight men bond with another is totally different from the way straight women bond with each other. Straight women, on the other hand, are very touchy and do what in my mind seem like "gay things". I played up these mixed signals and told myself there was a chance. Then you know what happened? Instead, I held on to this dream and got my heart broken. So, I guess the bottom line is you need to realize that you deserve someone who loves and desires you for you. Wasting your time chasing a straight person will only hurt you in the end and also possibly make the straight person feel uncomfortable. It sucks. And I know! Whenever I go out I see these AMAZING looking women but then have to keep telling myself the same: the probability of her being straight is pretty damn high so don't be surprised if she is. Hugs
I have the "fortunate" circumstance of being attracted to gay-looking women. That eliminates most possibilities for straight crushes. But my first girl crush was on a straight tomboyish girl. It was hard seeing her every day while it lasted. Every time we all went out i would get drunk and start being really touchy/feely with her. Then I realized what I was doing and ran off. It was rough because I got drunk so I wouldn't think about it, but then I would end up wanting to act on it. I never tried pursuing it or kidding myself that i had a shot, so I guess the lack of hope helped me get over it (and now we're good friends, and I've realized that I don't actually want to be with her.) I'm still not totally convinced that she's straight, but I also have the unfortunate circumstance of being attracted to catholic/ex-catholic girls (it's a weird pattern and i have NO idea! i'm neither catholic nor religious!) The gay girls I like who are catholic are no longer religious (I guess they had to reconcile their lifestyle with their beliefs), but this girl still lives as straight and is a practicing catholic (albeit not a homophobic one) and so I don't really want to get in the way of that. It just seems messy. Other than that, I don't really get straight crushes. I have one straight friend who was changing in front of me for yoga and I caught a glimpse of her topless before she put on her sports bra and I felt turned on for like a second, which I felt really awkward about because she's my close friend and it felt kindof incestuous. But then everything turned to normal really quickly. (She incidentally was the one who told me I had to shut it down when I told her about my straight crush.) I don't know... I guess cultivating false hope is the worst for crushes. So I would avoid that...
I don't know its been rare that I've had any sorta crush on anyone at all. There's this guy at work (fairly new employee there)...he's cute, always smiles(which just adds to his cuteness), & just in general a nice guy. I think i might have a little bit of a crush on him (maybe? there's just this weird little feeling i get down inside whenever i see him? don't really know how to explain it but you guys probably know what i mean..) he's off limits ofcourse.. 3 big reasons: +he's straight (nearly positive on this even though one day he said he didn't have a girlfriend. plus there's woman he was talking to another day about them going out after work) +he's a co-worker (really thats all that needs to be said) +i'm too old ugg...: *i hate those feelings... *not sure what to do on this one... *as i mentioned its rare that i've had any sorta crush (& i'm pretty clueless on that sorta stuff), but i think this might be a bit of one. *one side says i should be sorta unfriendly (dont know if truly could do that . plus it seams kinda mean (and i wouldn't want to burn any bridges at work anyway)) *it'd be kinda impossible to avoid the cuteie altogether... *I might have to look back to a number of years ago when i had that setup i used to try & erase all my gay thoughts/feelings ... and instead instead set/direct it for any crush-type feelings/thoughts about this guy.
I know how that feels. I've had crushes on a lot of my friends, and now it's the guy i sit next to in class. I just try to focus and actually learn something. It's outside of class that I don't know what to do because we always hang out with the same people. haha but whatever, everyone finds that one person at one point right? haha i forgot where i was going with this :icon_bigg
Aww, (*hug*) and thank you to everyone for their advice/experiences. I was thinking about starting a conversation in which he finds out I'm gay. He's actually giving me a ride to the museum that our class has to take a trip to. I don't know if I should tell then (that I'm gay not me crushing on him lol) With me being new to the college, I think I have a crush on him because he was the first person on campus I gotten to know. He's helpful to everyone and knowledgable and it makes me wonder if I really "like" him or just experiencing what people call "puppy love."
It's been a while since I was last on here. An undate on the situation with my friend was that I ended up telling him I was gay. Our class had to meet up at a museum that was a little far from campus. Weeks before, I asked him if could he give me a ride and he was nice said yes. The day before the trip, a guy we sit next had his car stolen and asked my friend if get a ride as well. Fast forward to us driving back from the museum, the two guys were talking about girlfriends and relationships. My friend asked if I had a girlfriend and I told him "No... I'm gay." He didn't hear me the first time which I felt awkward since I rode "shotgun" and thought about he'd react. He was reacted so great :icon_redf. He was like "Oh, well have ever had a boyfriend?" No was my reply and he asked if I tried. The conversation carried on to other stuff after the other guy asked about how my friend broke up with ex girlfriend. Ever since then, he's still a nice guy and we sit together and talk to/help one another in class. It's fun since we always poke fun at each other; I make fun of him hitting on a girl in class while he points out my awkwardness when greeting people. Since this is our last week of class, I wanted to ask if him and I could be friends on Facebook. I'm nervous about being blunt about it. Since he's graduating in the spring, I won't see him anymore and he's one of the first friends I made at this school.
It sounds to me that he likes you and even if just as a friend a friend is a good thing to have. And if anything develops further from it, consider it a bonus. There is nothing wrong or blunt about asking him to be Facebook friends, everyone does it, straight or gay. Just because you ask him to be a FB friend does not mean your asking him out on a date. I really don't think he will think twice about and the request and will most likely want to be your FB friend. Don't over analyze the friendship, just go with it. You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Good luck and keep us posted..
Aww thanks. On Tuesday, he was busy with other final projects for classes and stopped by class to drop off my artwork I ask him to hold over the weekend. I didn't ask him about Facebook then because I didn't want to slow him down. Today, I just told him "I'm gonna find you on Facebook". He was like "Sure" but when I was searching he was laughing because I had a hard time identifying him from other names. Class ended and we walked out together. I wanted to be sentimental and give him a hug but didn't. We talked about next semester and said our goodbyes. I'm thinking about messaging him once he accepts the FB request but not sure what to say.
