Hey everyone! So I seem to have been very clingy with my boyfriend lately... I really hate it about myself because I know it's something I can change, I just don't know how... I really love him and I'm ruining us. I had and am having an amazing streak going! I'm not really focusing on jealousy or clinginess anymore, which is really helping us, but just because I'm not showing it anymore, doesn't mean it's gone. I want to get rid of this, I need to know my steps.. What can I do to stop being so clingy and worrying? I don't want my relationship to fail, I will not let that happen and will go to the furthest length I need to go so I can make sure we don't fail. This is probably the most important thing I've posted on here, in a sense of how much help I need/want. I really love this guy, I will do anything to ensure that we stay together. One main thing that's doing it is this other guy. The thing about my bf is I only know his real name and everything. It's an online relationship, and he keeps his real identity hidden. Though I found out that he added this other guy we play with online (guy1 we can call him) on his FB friends, his REAL FB. I asked him if guy1 knew about his real identity, he said no and he just added guy1 to mess around with him, and guy1 doesn't know it's actually him. He hangs around with this other guy (still guy1) when we play games, he's much more fun than I am, and they always have fun together while I'm just kinda on the sidelines wishing I could be that fun for my bf. I know guy1 likes my bf, he's always super flirty with him. I trust my bf 100%, but I don't trust the other guy. I just want to fix it. I get jealous and clingy because of this guy... I can't bring it up to my bf because it will seem like that's all I'm focusing on, and I'll hurt the already wounded relationship even more.. I need help...
Why don't you tell him about your worries? If he is supposed to be your boyfriend, then he shouldn't really be messing around with a guy who has a crush on him. As for clinginess, try to find things to do on your own or with other friends that don't involve your boyfriend. It can be as simple as reading a book or going out for a movie.
Okay, thank you. I've told him before, and he says he doesn't like guy1 like that. I believe him, it just keep worrying me when I see then havin a bunch of fun tgether or when guy1 flirts with him. I dont want to bring it up to my bf again because it will seem like that's all I'm focusing on, and it might ruin our relationship, I never want that to happen. Honestly if I can get that fixed where he will stop being all flirty or I can get a final assurance, I'll be golden! That is my only worry right now in our relationship, as soon as I don't need to worry about it anymore, I'll be perfect!
I just don't want to ruin his fun with other people, it's just the person he has fun with I'm not very fond of. It sucks, but I feel like my only option is to suck it up, hide that feeling, and just keep on like i have been.. :x i just want to stop feeling these feelings before it leads up to me doing/saying something that will ruin our relationship. Anybody else have any ideas? I'm stuck. :/
Hi Jake, Given that this is a long-distance relationship, you have to accept that you will not be able to judge the situation accurately. It's as if you have to fly a plane on instruments only, no visual. It takes skill and confidence to navigate that way. If you are feeling jealous, make him love you more! You are very afraid of losing him, I can see that, but this jealousy will give you precisely what you don't want. The only way to conquer that fear is to be even more lovable! But how can you be lovable at all if you are uncertain about loving yourself? To be lovable means, first and foremost to know that you can be loved. Next, love him even more! Care for him, respond to him when he calls you, respect him and his boundaries, and finally try to get to know him even better. Part of your insecurity is that you just don't know what he's like in tempting situations. Get to know him better, try to go in some depth why he does what he does. This should provide you with enough reassurances until the happy day that you finally meet him! How to love yourself? Well for starters, you can ask your BF why he loves you, you can think of the good things about you that no one else has, including (this will get him thinking about you more)
I suppose that's true, but I do a lot to love him and show him that. Sometimes I do feel like I do much more for him than he does with me, and then that can make me seem clingy or jealous. It's all guy1 I'm tellin you xD If he wasn't in the picture, I could achieve so much. It's just everytime I'm feeling up like I got this, something happens to where I go right back down. gah why does everything have to be so difficult.
