In an earlier post on coming out, I talked about how my parents, family and friends view gay people. And while I wanted to believe otherwise, most comments have just confirmed my fears that I most likely will not be accepted. … this.. it scares me. All my life I was taught that nothing is more important than family. That you stick together. I guess what I’m getting at is, I love my family with all my heart, but rejection is something I fear with every fiber of my being. Is coming out worth the risk of losing all of that? :help:
I was in a similar situation when I came out, though from the sound of your earlier post, the animosity wasn't as extreme in my family. So take this for what it's worth, but in my experience, people's opinions about lgbt individuals can change pretty drastically if they find out they're related to one, or their friend is one, or, quite frankly, if their child is one. They may still have a lot of ground to cover, but that doesn't *necessarily* mean they're incapable of changing. The big metric here is your own personal safety and well-being. If you think it would endanger you physically, emotionally, or financially (parents not paying for college or whatnot anymore), then it might not be a horrible idea to wait until you're in a more self-sufficient spot. But if you feel like these things aren't serious dangers, then maybe you can start coming up with a coming out plan. As for their reaction and being part of a family unit...again, I found myself confronted with the same thing. One thing I came around to at least was that even if my parents, in the moment, were being disrespectful of me or having trouble dealing with the idea, I could still be respectful of them and patient with them. You can still be a good son even if they're not sure how to handle you, and if they're at all interested in working through it, that won't be lost on them.
Well if you were taught your whole life that family was the most important thing, doesn't it stand to reason that your parents would still value you as family no matter what? And don't you owe them the respect of being honest about who you really are? These are salient points to make if/when you come out to them. Give them credit, they raised a great person... You! I know, sounds good on paper, tougher in person, right? Well certainly keep your safety and security in mind. But if you are old enough to not worry about these things, the truth will set you free. My parents shocked the he'll out of me. I did not give them enough credit...and it all started with "mom, dad...I'm gay". That simple.:eusa_danc
