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Why do I feel like he doesn't love me even though I know he does? ?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Estragon84, Oct 16, 2013.

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  1. Estragon84

    Estragon84
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    Is this something common in a relationship? I love my boyfriend beyond words and I know he loves me just by what he says, by how he acts with me, etc. (and he tells me all the time). But how come I don't feel it? I know I'm very insecure. Is this just my insecurity not allowing me to see something that's there for fear of being hurt? I know part of me feels that my boyfriend has no business loving me because I see myself as "damaged goods". This is kind of freaking me out and I don't like it one bit...

    ADVICE PLEASE!
     
    #1 Estragon84, Oct 16, 2013
  2. resu

    resu
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    This is because you need to learn how to love yourself more; it has little to do with him per se. You are insecure because you think you aren't worthy of being his boyfriend, that someone "better" will come along and sweep him away, that you are an impostor. All those ideas are wrong. Of course, nothing is impossible, but you just have to put some trust that as long as you both are contributing equally to the relationship, there should be little worry. You should never feel your happiness depends on someone else; happiness comes from within.
     
    #2 resu, Oct 16, 2013
  3. SilentCreatures

    SilentCreatures
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    Trust is key word. Letting that grow, in time your doubts will fade away. I was in your position too. Like resu said. Learning to love yourself is another important thing. Feeling unworthy or scared that someone better might come along. Maybe, just maybe that amazing person has already come along. That person is you! :slight_smile:

    PS: I'll try not to frighten the horses either :wink:
     
    #3 SilentCreatures, Oct 16, 2013
  4. Californiacoast

    Californiacoast
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    Salient points above. Another might be that there is a point in a relationship where you go from loving them to falling or being in love IMO. This takes trust and allowing yourself to loose some control. It can be scary when it goes from the head to the heart. Maybe these are the feelings you are fighting...losing some control..becoming more vulnerable.:rolle:
     
    #4 Californiacoast, Oct 16, 2013
  5. Estragon84

    Estragon84
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    Oy vey... probably the best advice I've gotten here ever. Thank you all soooo much!!!! Being vulnerable is very scary to me and it's definitely something I'm actively working towards. My most sincere thanks again!

    lol, SilentCreatures.
     
    #5 Estragon84, Oct 17, 2013
  6. A Person

    A Person
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    Like the others said, trust them. You'll see that there's nothing to worry about. Im insecure as well a lot but it feels good knowing you can trust someone.
     
    #6 A Person, Oct 17, 2013
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