Why there is hope for all of you...

Hello friends,

I just wanted to share a little of my story, how I came to EC, how it has helped me, and where I am at now.

Anyway, at the end of college for me I really fell for someone who was friend. He gave me a lot signs that indicated to me that the feeling was mutual. I was tortured by this for two years, and in a great deal of pain. I saw a therapist and kept trying to dissect his behavior. I was miserable.

The feelings I had for the person finally made myself accept that I was gay. Up until this last summer I was still searching for answers, and googled "in love with best friend" and come upon a much older thread from this forum. So I joined and posted my story hoping to find answers just like many people on here have done. This was in August. I gradually joined in the other conversations on here and tried to continue to read the advice people posted re: what do when you have feelings for a friend.

I finally came to the realization that my pain was too much. No matter how much I wanted this friend in my life and how I felt, and how much I was convinced his signs meant something, I needed to move on with my life. Three weeks ago I blocked him on Facebook without explanation and made it so I would no longer have any contact with him. It was horrible, but I knew that the only thing to make me happy was to stick to the adage that time and distance would make my feelings go away.

Around the time I joined EC I started to really make attempts to meet some new people. I joined the mailing lists of some clubs in my area, and I reached out to some of the officers and met them up for coffee to try to make my self more comfortable. One of the ladies convinced me to go to a happy hour, so three weeks ago I eventually had enough courage to go to a gay bar. Let me tell you, I almost threw up on the way there and every bit of me wanted to turn around. But I went through it and had a very positive experience.

Two weeks I go I begrudgingly re-joined a dating website with the intention just to try to meet some people. I went in with an open mind, not that I would instantly find someone to replace the hole that losing my friend met but just to meet friends.

Anyway, I did meet someone. We are planning to hang out again for the fourth time this afternoon. I enjoy spending time with him very much, and Friday we had a very pleasant sleep over at his place :icon_bigg. So in just two lucky months, I went from being a (what I would say) an unhappy, in love with best friend person, to someone who could be at the beginning of a very good relationship.

Now, I won't say all my insecurities are gone. I won't say that I know I have met the love of my life, or that we will even develop a relationship. I still haven't come out to my parents or any friends. However, I can say with the help of EC I am much more happy today than I have been in a very very long time.

If you keep an open mind, you never know when your life can turn around. There are always positive things that you can do to make yourself more comfortable and accepting of yourself. Even being on here, and talking about things related to the "gay" part of me for which I denied for so long has been so helpful. I really listened to the advice on here, and applied it to my life. Being gay isn't easy, and meeting people is tough. But I went through a very long time of unhappiness (like people here have) and things have turned around for me. And I can say, if it happened to me it can happen to everyone of you.


Wishing everyone the best, and offering my thanks for all the people on here that have helped me to get to this point. I hope my story gives you some hope, that yes it does get better and even when you least expect it. I will continue to offer some posts as my new relationship develops, but for now, I got a date to get ready for!!:icon_bigg