Okay, so, you peeps may remember me from a past thread about how a female friend of mine is in love with me and I was all over the place about whether or not I should just give her a chance because she's my best friend and what would be so bad about dating your best friend, right? Well, even though every aching fiber in my body told me this was a bad decision, ahem, well, we're now dating (that is a big :eusa_doh: on my part...) It's not like she pressured me relentlessly or anything, but any time I tried to talk to her about how I didn't wanna hurt her in the future, she would always be as understanding as possible, but I could so the hurt in her and I just couldn't stand knowing that I was causing her pain... Like, I was getting physical chest pains myself because I care for her like a daughter (I'm not saying I'd date my daughter..........) I don't even know why I'm making this post, I think I just want to hear some people scream at me about how i'm only gonna end up hurting her more in the future than I would if I let her down now... Thing is, I tried explaining this to her, about how if the two of us build something great together, there's a chance that some sparkling casanova could ride in and sweep me off my feet... Yeah, and to that, she told me at that point, she'd probably love me enough to let me go free if it made me happy... So upon hearing that, my chest was engulfed in a frigid layer of agonizing ice which then shattered with crushing heart break... I couldn't say no after hearing that, so scream at me people, scream awaaaay
Ha ha! How could you do this? You're going to hurt her! Blah, blah, blah Actually, I say just do whatever feels right to you. If you want to date her, then go ahead. Like you said, even though this might not be the most logical thing to do, you can always give it a go. If it doesn't work out, then at least you warned her first, right? If it does feel good though, then that could be really special. Just do whatever feels right. Now the shouters can reply below: :roflmao:
Well, UIOP, it seems quite obvious that the OP's not comfortable with dating her. OP, quite frankly I don't understand why you're dating her? Because you don't wanna hurt her (even though you know the relationship will fail and you'll end up hurting her anyway, not to mention that her fixation with you, a gay guy, is in no way healthy for her, and you ain't doing her any favors by encouraging her)?
Yea i mean do what feels right blah blah buuttt it doesnt sound like this feels right. If you're not as flexible with your sexuality as you tell her you are, then this will not end well. Some friendships are too valuable to risk. Some friendships are too strong to be compromised by anything. I know your heart breaks for her so you can't say no, but don't make this about you. Make sure you're taking her needs into account. She probably has gotten close to you knowing that you're mostly into guys, but because she's attracted to guys she got emotionally attached and started wondering "what if?" And meanwhile you have no attraction but feel really close to her, and would do anything for her but are not into actually dating her. One thing I realized as I was coming out to myself is that love shouldn't be sad. I used to be sad in every relationship, like if I was crying over it then it really meant something to me, I was really feeling something. But when it feels right you shouldn't feel bad or sad over it. Maybe there will be sad moments, or maybe things will be unrequited and you will feel sad about that, but being with the person should be a happy time. If you're going into this with your heart breaking for her, then it doesn't sound right to me. Ultimately I mean you do you, if you like her then date her, etc, but that's my two cents.
Just read this again. Sorry for totally misinterpreting you, Emberblaze - I didn't mean to be insensitive As I said before though, you need to do whatever you think is right. I understand that your heart breaks for her but, if that's the only reason that you're in this relationship, then maybe it's not the correct thing to do. If you have absolutely no attraction for her, then she could be dating an 'illusion' - she might get her hopes up and start to think that there is something when actually there's not. That must be a very tough position to be in. Honestly though, do what you feel is right. Both for you and for her. Continuing to date her if you do not have the same feelings she has might be harmful for your friendship. If you decide that you do want to date her, then by all means feel free to do so. But sometimes a painful choice is the lesser of two evils. Carrying this on could end up hurting her more than trying to break it off now.
It sounds like she may be so infatuated that she is not in the frame of mind to be thinking rationally. Particularly, if it doesn't work out, is she still going to accept you as a friend? That would be my question.
Get yourself out of that mess before you waste too much of your time. I'm sorry, but this is just a bad idea. Besides, this isn't really fair for you, why deny yourself the chance to date someone who you have actual feelings for?
Thanks everyone, all of your responses are as to be expected, because I've been beating myself up about this as well. Someone asked if she'll still accept me as a friend in the event of a worst-case-scenario, and to be quite honest, I believe so, but I've been wrong before. To be quite honest, one of the reasons I went into this relationship is that I thought, well, maybe there could be a small possible chance that maybe I could make it work with a girl, and, so far, there's not much, and if I can't feel love for HER, then there's certainly no girl out there that I could possibly love, but, that's just babble. She is fully aware of the repercussions this carries for her in the future, but, to no avail... We graduate this year and shes gong to atlanta and I'm going to florida, I guess I just thought I could satisfy her for now and then when we graduate, the distance would kill it, but it's pretty stupid to think that way now. I know no one here is gonna be happy if I let it go on that long.
I can't really add more to what others have said, you need to end it. But your situation reminded me of Marshall on the show United States of Tara. Check the vid to see how his relationship ended: [YOUTUBE]NrZGwK57G_0[/YOUTUBE]
