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Just feeling really shitty right now!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sammy1, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. sammy1

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    So I'm just writing this because it really upset me and I have no friends to talk to or vent to about this...I'll try to keep this as short as possible! when I got home from work tonight dad felt that I was upset about somthing so he asked me how my day was and usually I say 'good' no matter what I am actually feeling. But this time I just told him I wasn't feeling good because I have a killer headache and I said a few more things and he eventually goes on to say shit like he doesn't know how i can be so upset and miserable all the time when I have no deadlines, only have my phone bill to pay, no mortgage to worry about, and my dad wakes up at 3am to go to work and works 12-16hr days and I work as a cashier. What upset me was he thinks that because I don't have all these things to deal with I can never have an 'off' day feeling shitty with a headache or depressed etc and I should just be happy ALL THE TIME. He doesn't fucking understand AT ALL! Because if you don't work as hard as he does he has no sympathy about how you are feeling because his day was so much worse than, say a headache. I can't stand living here some days but I can't move out anytime soon so I'm just fucked :tears: anyways thanks to whoever reads and comments
     
  2. Condorman

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    sammy1...sometimes us men/dads are pretty crap at communicating.

    I know myself that in the past when a family member is telling me how crap their day is I have done the same as your dad and basically compared my day to theirs and in comparison, my day looks worse. I wasn't trying to belittle, it's just that I have more responsibilities etc. Or I would start looking for or offering "solutions" to their crap day.

    Anyway, I did a bit of reading and then practice, and now I listen and when appropriate offer a whole hearted "that sucks" comment to their complaint. I mean that I listen and try and empathise without comparing or offering solutions. Unless I am asked.

    Sound like that's what you wanted from your dad. Sorry it didn't happen for you.

    I would encourage you to tell him that and also to try and empathise with him too.
     
  3. sammy1

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    Yah that's pretty much all I wanted him to say to my complaints or whatever u want to call it but I wasn't even gonna mention how my day was to him because there is no point but he was the one that asked so for some reason I just said I had a really bad headache all day aaaaaand of course the truth was the wrong response!