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The implications of what she said are killing me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Spirit, Oct 23, 2013.

  1. Spirit

    Regular Member

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    Last weekend a text from my (straight) best friend, S, that has caused a lot of stress on my part. I've had romantic feelings for a while, so this has really made matters worse.

    This is the short version of our conversation.

    S- I have a question for you. You don't have to answer right away, but you can think about it.
    Me- (expecting the worst) Yeah, shoot. Is it a rhetorical question?
    S- If neither of us finds anyone to ask, do you want to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me? I know it might disrupt our scandalous friendship, but I want to go dance to bad music.
    Me- Of course! And how is our friendship scandalous?
    S- Because we're considered shippable... (One of our friends said we should be a couple)
    Me-... Do we really know that every person that looks at us weird actually think we're lesbians? Maybe they just think we're hooligans ...as long as we know what our deal is, we'll be fine.
    S-Not all of that made sense, but I still understood. That's why we're platonic besties. But why can't we be secret lesbian hooligans?

    Take away the word 'hooligans', you get a very different sentence. To me it sounds an awful lot like she's asking me why we can't be a couple. Added onto her having just invited me to a couples' dance, the implication seems even clearer.

    The thing that put me over the edge was this morning, when I said something about us being platonic besties. And she muttered something along the lines of 'there's no reason why we should(n't/could/couldn't?) be.." Which sounded eerily similar to what she had texted me. I asked her what she said but she wouldn't give me a straight answer. The bell rang, so I had to go to class. But once I got home, I started to freak out. I realized how just how many things "But why can't we be secret lesbian hooligans?" could mean. While she's claims to be straight, she has spooned me, and boarder-line flirted with me.

    Now that I've calmed down, I realize I've overreacted quite a bit. But still, I'd still like to know what she meant. I'd prefer to talk to her in person, but I feel like every day that passes, it'll get harder to talk about this, and the less she'll remember exactly what she meant. And if I don't ask, I know I'll regret it later. I plan on calling her tonight, but I'm not sure.

    I'm just not sure how to go about asking, and I would really appriciate some input. And if anyone thinks they have an idea of what the hell is going on (I don't), please post. :help:
     
  2. SomeNights

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    It's doubtful that you'll ever know what she actually meant. However, since you are close friends with her and from your wordings it sounds like your out to her, just ask her what her status is. "Hey, I just realized I never asked you, but you're into guys right?" or "So you know I'm into chicks, but what about you?". That or you can find some other subtle way to sneak it into a conversation.