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My Best Lesbro who was in love with me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DrkRayne, Oct 25, 2013.

  1. DrkRayne

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    A few years back I was roomies with a guy who was my bf in H.S.

    We never had sex, tried to, i freaked out, came out the closet...we stayed friends. He was THAT guy. The one who you cared about, but proved you couldnt ever be with a man.

    Anyway we were roommates and he was like my brother. I loved him as such. Best guy ever. Video games, beer, pizza...average friend.
    Well we work for the same company. he was transferred to a client in Ohio almost 2 years ago. Before leaving he told me he was in love with me.:bang:
    My jaw dropped. :eek: he was one of the first people I came out to. I always talked to him about my girl problems, he talked to me about his. We would say "Fuck bitches" and such. I was also moving in to a new place so that when my gf (now fiancee) moved in she'd have enough space and he had helped us pick out a place.

    I told him, I was flattered, but that I didnt feel for him that way. he would always be my brother, but that was it.

    Anyways we stopped talking. he told me he needed time to get over it. I was confused because i thought he was over it 5 years before.
    So I got a message from him out the blue that he was being transferred back to Michigan. He wants to hang out.
    I miss him a lot, but...I dunno. its awkward after his confession two years ago. We kept in touch sporadically as we work for the same company...but nothing friendly and close. Mostly about "was your direct deposit on time?" etc.


    So...hmmm I dunno what to do. Not to mention my partner/fiancee isnt fond of him after I told her what happened. he was my best guy friend for years. :help:
     
  2. gibson234

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    You should keep in touch with friends. If you enjoyed his company then see him again. If he was saying he was getting over you 2 years ago then I'm sure he has by now.
     
  3. Choirboy

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    Well, he might just be missing the friendship that you two had. Really special friends can be hard to come by, and some time apart may have confirmed to him that ne needs your friendship. Assuming you've been very clear about your sexuality (and it sounds like you certainly have been), I would hope he doesn't have some glimmer of an idea that there's a chance for you two, but I suppose there's that possibility.

    Or--this is WAY out of the blue--is there any chance he might be questioning HIS sexuality a bit himself? You don't mention any girlfriends of his. I remember, back in the days when I was trying to convince myself I wasn't gay, always conveniently being "in love" with women who were utterly unavailable for one reason or another. This just sounds to me like there's more to the story that, perhaps, he hasn't shared yet.
     
  4. olides84

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    I'd suggest to give him a chance at least. Have a coffee and reconnect, but also say that your friendship cannot go back to what it was with him "being in love with you" hanging over it. It's awkward for you, and awkward for your fiancee. See what he says and also how you feel about him after the time together, then talk with your partner and go from there...
     
  5. GirlWhoWaited

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    I would hang out with him. After all, the worst that can happen is that you don't hang out again...which would be where you are now. Your partner shouldn't be too concerned, in my opinion, since you already tried to have sex with him once, and couldn't follow through. Because you're a lesbian. He was your closest friend, it's okay to want to hold onto that. My best friend and I were in love with each other off and on for years. We dated briefly, it didn't work, he had a few other girlfriends...and realized he hated sex with women. our feelings transformed into a different kind of love. We're like family to each other now, and I'd say getting through all those feelings gave us a uniquely special friendship. Do we still want to sleep with each other?Absolutely not. We still have the emotional closeness, though. We also can give each other better relationship advice than anyone else in the world, because we have firsthand knowledge of how the other person functions in a romantic relationship.That's a really invaluable feeling. If he's over his attraction to you, maybe you could bond on a different level. I think it's worth pursuing. :slight_smile: