Hello everyone. This is my first post here. So this is about a girl I call Princess Sissy (this has absolutely nothing to do with her real name, it's just how I call her because of her princess-like appearance). I have known her for more than 5 years now and I've always known she meant A LOT to me. Actually I always knew I wanted to be more than friends with her. And the time for it is NOW. So she has never been kissed by anyone while I have had various experiences up till now. She is now waiting for the "prince of her dreams" and it freaks her out that NO guy seems "legit". And when we talk about this, I feel that her eyes are somehow begging me for something that I have and I can give to her. That is the easy part of my story. Apart from that, she claims fanatically that she is STRAIGHT and everything that has to do with lesbians brings her disgust. This is what she says whenever I try to bring any lesbian issue up during our conversations. But then, her body language is not that clear on the matter! xD Last but not least, I recently had a love story with another girl. And Sissy looked to be SO jealous. I mean, MORE jealous than she was when I had love stories with guys. Also, I had asked that girlfriend of mine for advice on the Sissy-matter and she said that when a girl reacts the way Sissy does, it means that she REALLY wants you to be her Valentine. So what do I do? Do I grab her and become her Prince, like I have always dreamed to? Or will I lose her forever if I try to do so?
Hi Prince, and welcome to EC! When we really want to believe something, we will look for any confirming evidence, and elevate it to absolute truth, and take any counter-evidence with a grain of salt. You stated that she affirms being straight and is disgusted with lesbians, and she said that to your face knowing you're lesbian. From an objective standpoint, which you have here, there is little doubt to my mind that you may risk losing her if you make an advance. Her look may not be what it appears to be, it may not be jealousy....it could be disapproval. And even if it were jealousy, it could simply be jealousy for a friend.
Hello Greatwhale and thanks for your response! Well, her roughest statements against lesbians were made last year, when she didn't really know about my sexuality and she wasn't even counting on finding her Prince. Now she is quite "warmer" with the issue. I'm definitely sure she is jealous or pretending to be jealous. But, yes, it could be jealousy for a friend. I do know that everything looks a lot different than it actually is when we are in love... But I can ensure you that the "advance" we're talking about will be very aggressive from my part (as I'm a Hulk of flirting) and if she doesn't feel the same, she will definitely be SCARED AS HELL in the best case and cease to see me. This is what I mean to "lose" her.
If you feel the need to take action, I would definitely tell her how you feel first opposed to making a move on her. Be very conscious of your words and be sure not to overstep any boundaries. Like greatwhale pointed out, It may help to take a step back for a moment and analyze the situation as if it didn't involve you. When a person is in love, they tend to wear "rose-colored glasses" and see only what supports their claims. If someone confided the same situation to you, what would you say?
As the Hulk of flirt, if someone confessed the same situation to me I would say more or less FIRE IN THE HOLE! Well I know how this sounds, but this is the only way I can operate. The good part of the story is that she has managed to trouble me enough to indicate that I deeply care about her. I don't think I could take any steps back; geterally, as a person, I am not used to taking random steps in my relationships, but once I do, I make it a big one. Thanks for your advice though!
