How to get someone to come to YOU...?

Sorry if this is insensitive, but...I'd not divulge any of my sexual opinions/experience to someone in reality if they weren't comfortable enough to be my friend show me that I could trust them.

(This forum is very different though).

Is it fair to distract her from her professional duties with something of this nature just for your benefit?

Can you provide any details on why you can't just ask her to join you for a coffee at the weekend or something?

Really, I'm not being judgmental, I'm just trying to offer an alternative perspective.
I fully admit, that I don't understand these issues, being straight and all.

However, I can empathize with my fellow human beings. And from this forum alone I've learnt that coming out can be a scary experience full of unknowns. In my opinion it should be treated with sensitivity, kindness and respect.

You probably aren't like this, but from how your post was written it does sound like her sexuality is a bit of a game to you.

 

This sounds quite weird indeed, I mean why are you not able to even exchange a word with her on a more personal basis?

Anyways, I think I can give you the solution that is so popular these days. You could just try to reach her on her mobile or e-mail adress or something like that, and arrange a meeting from there. Would you get her into trouble if you just asked for her number or e-mail adress or Facebook account or anything like that? And one more question: do you work in the same place as this person? Because, if you do, that would give you the perspective to pretend that it is all on proffessional matters for a little while, at least until the waters get clearer for you to take another step!

Hope I helped and good luck with this!

 

That's great

OK, then seek the knowledge you feel you must, but know two things:

1. If this causes the other person any harm or discomfort. You are wrong to pursue it.

2. Your own passion for needing to know must never infringe upon her right to divulge personal information she chooses.

I strongly discourage people from thinking strictly about themselves and their own needs alone.

In my opinion, this world would be a much better place if we considered the happiness of others on a par with our own.

In your case, whilst I don't know socialising patterns in the US, I recommend asking her out for a coffee or something. To me, that's innocent enough, and it removes the work issue from the equation.

You feel that she 'owes' you an explanation. I shan't delve into that, I don't have enough information. But I will say that sometimes life is unfair, and the information you think you have a right to know will not come your way.

 

I have no idea what this is all about... it's just a feeling.
You should be dealing with reality as it is, not as you would like have it be.
There's your ego and her ego and a possible clash. I don't know what kind of a history you have with her but maybe you should redefine your role in this relationship and deal directly with any hidden negatives?
Don't forget to use your intuition. Maybe try to make some space to be alone and reflect on the situation first? It might give you the opportunity to tune in what it is that you really want, need, think and feel. But unless you have a clear idea of where you yourself stand, you will simply become confused. Is that what you want, to know where you stand?