So this was i bit ago when i came out to my mom being trans and i said if i came out to he rest of the family i would want them using gender correct and the name I want to use (Alen) and she said even if that happened it would take a while for her or them to use right pronouns or even use my preferred name it hurt so much because she says shes accepting of me but then says that and it makes me want to jump off a cliff it really makes me mad because i said what a but a year and she said well talk about it in a year like a we'll see kinda way it makes me really mad to think if even when i start dressing as male and such she might not even address me as male or use the name I chose and its like if i try to be male and she addresses me as female *Insert sarcasm thats freaking great for passing right :dry: So any advise to get her to use gendercorrect pronouns when i come out to my family because i want to come out to my family and close friends and maybe school since my school is sorta small so i dont think ill be bullied as much since i dont really know anyone but i can deal with bullying because i dont give a crap what people at school think.
'Sup, Alen. I can understand where you're coming from. While I'm cisgendered, I've heard about this a lot from both transgendered and agendered friends/friendly acquaintances. With my coming out as bisexual, my mother hasn't even been able to comprehend it, much less try to accept it. The thing with mothers... The thing with mothers... Is that they always mean the best. Well, in most cases. And your mother doesn't seem like a malicious kind of woman. But the thing with mothers is that They want the best for their kids, even if that mentality can become warped. Mothers never want to see their kids oppressed by society for something that their born as. And trans* individuals are commonly denied healthcare, employment, etc. Your mother probably doesn't want to see that happen to you, so she's convinced that you can identify as a woman, because that's just easier in today's society. What I'm saying is, correct her. Educate her. But forgive her. It's probably a hard concept to grasp for her that you don't identify with your biologically assigned sex, so constantly be re-explaining it, and telling her what pronouns you prefer. No matter how hard that is, keep your sanity. In the long run, she'll understand it more, and probably accept that you are, in fact, a man, by the time you choose to come out to your family. Also? Good luck, dude. I tip my hat in your direction. ~Sunshine
