A lot has kinda happened since my last post. She knows how I feel about her. But here's the thing. I just found out that she's ftm trans. Not openly. Only I know but just recently her mother found out. She's having a rough time at home now.I don't have a problem with it but I think her being trans is what made me question my whole sexuality (anyway that's a different story). We talk... a lot, about many things. After mending our friendship.... again, after so many times I tried to end it,I finally told her how I feel about her and I learned that she had feelings for me too! Feelings that went away when I apparently started getting bitchy. Needless to say I screwed that one up big time. Some months have passed by and I'm starting to get "that feeling" again. The one where it's just to much to be friends. Where I think about how much I want but cant have her. The feeling that I should have just left our friendship where it was....dead. But I just couldn't. She means a lot to me but I feel like sometimes I'm resenting her. I know how I can get. I just start pushing people away and I don't want to do that to her again. I don't really want to be near her or really talk to her but I don't want her to feel like she's done something wrong again, because she hasn't. Sometimes I'm just angry that I can't maintain a normal healthy relationship with another human being, without it being too much on me. sighs......
I understand how you're feeling, I've been through regrets like that before. Well, what has happened has happened. If she is still willing to mend your friendship with her again, then try to get her to get "that feeling" with you again? Anyways, Good luck! (Y)
