Apologizing in advance for the long post. So... There is this girl that likes me; which is a first in a long time. Only thing is, I don't see her as anything more than just a friend. Figure you might need some more info... I had no clue she liked me until one day I noticed she was getting to close for comfort; and that's coming from me, I'm still trying to learn about arms length. Although it made me think that maybe she liked me, I just quickly dismissed the thought and told myself she was just a friendly person. The reason I thought that was because when we first met we were in the library hanging out with a mutual groups of friends. At first it was awkward because when she first looked at me it looked as if she was mean mugging me. Well after a while we both started to relax and soon found ourselves joking with each other and the rest of our friends. After an hour had passed I came to the conclusion that she was cool, funny, and easy to talk to; I also found out we have a lot of mutual friends in common. After that day I would see her every now and then on my way to class and each time I saw her I stopped to say hi. As more time passed I noticed that if she saw me from across the room she would give me this smile and wave, she eventually started to give me hugs (I'm not a hugger), and she even started saying things that I thought was weird. For instance one day she looked down at my shoes and noticed that I had "little" feet, when she commented on it she said "wow your feet are so little" followed by a "hmm," she has also said that she likes how short I am, and also made a comment about how she loves Mexicans. After all that my suspicions were strong but I still dismissed it as her being friendly. Finally she confirmed it one day, not by telling me but by what she did. I was leaving my biology class, as I was walking out I was not really paying attention to who was around me, because I was looking at my phone searching for a song. By the time I had looked up I saw her coming towards me, just as I was about to say hey she started to back me into the wall. She had me pinned against the wall and our bodies were extremely close; due to being in an uncomfortable position I started to laugh and tried to free myself but nothing I did was working. Finally I gave up and I threw my arms around and gave her a crushing hug. I guess that satisfied her because when I was done she let me go. I still didn't know what to do so I laughed, said your crazy, then practically ran out of the building. After that I finally told myself their is no way in hell this girl is just being "friendly." So to confirm my thoughts I went to one of our mutual friends and explained what was going on. Once I was done she looked at me and burst into laughter; turns out not only was I right but she had even told our friend that she liked me. Apparently that same day we met she texted our friend asking her who I was, was I single, and to hook her up. She even told our friend that she thought I was fine, she wanted me, and lastly said "and those boobies YUM." So my question to you guys is how do I tell her that I don't like her? Thing is she hasn't told me herself and she has no clue that I know. Now before you guys start to say I should give her a chance, there are things that I don't like about her. One, most of the time she is always pissed off about something, two, whenever I'm hanging out with another girl she gets all pissed off, and three, sometimes she can be so rude. I never intended to lead her on and I only ever saw her as a friend. I don't want to hurt her feelings because I know what its like, to like someone and they don't like you back, but I can't pretend that I like her either. She doesn't deserve to be led on; its one of those things that I think no one should ever do to anybody. Again sorry for the long post but I have never been in this situation before. :help:
Ack...a tricky one. The obvious advice would be to talk to her directly, gently and kindly and let her know to cool her jets. However, as she's not actually said anything specifically - you're kind of in a catch 22 situation. As in, as she's not said anything, if you say something, then she can (technically) deny it - to save her own face and ego. What you could do, perhaps is respect the fact she's playing coy by sending back an equally coy message. The fact is - you said it yourself: At this point, thoughts of attraction and stuff become a moot point. If you don't like hugs, then that's what you should talk to her about. Say something like, 'I'm sorry but, I'm really not a huggy type of person. I know I hugged you before, but I didn't know what to do. So I tried it and actually I'm not too keen on it.' It's really important to respect the personal space of others - and it's totally normal to have massive variety between people. I have straight male friends who literally give me a bear hug when they see me, and others who get flustered even if I pat them on the arm. You start with that space, but continue being friendly and civil and hopefully she'll get the message. If she then initiates a conversation, then you can talk directly about not being attracted to her then. If you've never been in this situation before, I'll say one thing which is: please respect her feelings. If you have to have a 'conversation', do it in private and don't humiliate her in front of other people. It's obvious perhaps, but worth mentioning. And be gentle, no one enjoys being rejected. At least...the vast majority of people don't xD Best of luck
