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Feeling confused about a possible interest

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by iHateThinking, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. iHateThinking

    Regular Member

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    Hello again folks! I've come with another thread... *sigh* Gee, one day I'll have enough knowledge to help other people.

    With that being said, I'm dealing with a bit of a dilemma. It seems I've grown an interest (I don't dare say crush) on a friend of mine. We aren't very close, but we've known of each other's existence for over half a year and within the past few months have started hanging with one another more. I've always thought she was cute/attractive, albeit a bit... obnoxious, at least in vocal volume. (Gosh, just typing that makes me feel bad.) Though, I seem to have developed some kind of attraction; i.e., I see her and I get a nervous lump in my throat, I'm feeling a bit curious about her as a person, I unintentionally feel this need to impress her, and do have some hopes of running into her during the day.

    However, my feelings are not exact, and this lack of definition does bother me. Is it normal to not necessarily have a clear/defined reason for becoming interested in someone? It's hardly "OH MY GOD THIS PERSON IS SO AMAZING!" or "I'M SO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER", but I find her interesting and rather cute. Though I feel myself being very, very cautious... Namely if I do find I have serious feelings, I'm afraid of getting hurt, nor do I want to hurt anyone else.

    I dunno, to me, it seems to be a bit soon for me to be feeling some kind of interest in a new person. It's been broaching onto the 5th month since me and my ex broke up, and I can say I've gotten better. I'm not feeling totally miserable all the time, although still angry/upset in some aspect; I've returned to some weird ambivalence/neutrality and, while I still have some low days, things are starting to pick up a bit. I'm getting back into art, socializing more, actually feeling some level of motivation to get some things done. But it still seems too soon.

    Two, I'm worried that somehow, this is a feeling of rebound and I'm not actually interested, but trying to fill some kind of void with a new relationship. I've thought about kissing her, and normally doesn't go beyond that, but the really stupid thought of something serious crops up and I'm not sure why. This namely bothers me, because it's like "Woah, wait brain. You're getting a bit ahead of yourself" and it seems weird.

    I would like to get to know her, at least I think so. We seem to have some common interests (bands, art/crafting, some level of gaming) and I'm mostly curious to learn about her. I feel like I should hang with her more, get to know her more as a person and see what happens from there. At the very least, I see us becoming better friends. Should I stick with that route? Would anyone else have any extra advice or insight to give? I'm still not used to this kind of thing... If any responder needs clarification, I'll try my best to give it.

    Thank you and have a great night. :slight_smile:
     
  2. gingerincloset

    Regular Member

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    Your plan of being her friend sounds like the best option to me. Don't rush anything or be impulsive; it is not always the best.